Malls they are killing me..For every bachelors ever lived,they are the symbol of never ending celibacy…happy couples roaming hand in hand and enjoying each others spoils in a way that will push every single men around into unimaginable depths depressions…even mcflurry and krushers fails to taste good on seeing them……
In my vast experience,there are quite few creatures that frequently roams the wilderness of fashionable malls …most dangerous of them is undoubtedly “the couple”…From the movies to lifestyle stores their hands on waist moves and happily ever-after mannerisms…will definitely make you jealous..for god sake… “could you freaking keep the hands off each other”….its worse..especially when you come across a girl,who was your classmate years ago with her “whoever she was with“..and yet here I am, stuck with someone which will eventually result in the rumours that I’m gay….
Surviving the couples is tough but then there is the Group… this maybe large or small.The bigger groups are a relief though.They will have someone lovers and many reluctant friends who are bored to hell and thus desperately fending off the temptation to rip off the heads of these pathetic love birds. Believe me I know…Now there is the all girls gang with endless bags of Westside..we gulliable single men… we thinks they will be the one but you are in for a heart break.Observe them for a while and you are bound to find that, they come preloaded with a gang of x y chromosomed losers waiting around with enough territorial aggression to level the entire place……seriously dudes… chill out
So what exactly is single and sober men supposed to do on a boring Sunday afternoon.With no goose to hunt we will eventually end up in this shining glass walled giants.Changing vantage point,like three times on each floor..Checking out things worth five times our pay check and making false promises to come back again …seriously, how do you even pronounce all those brand names..levi’s,crusoe and tony hil-something
All this will definitely make you tired, so have a drink.Sipping an over priced “choco lash” while sitting at the far end of a long table already occupied by celebrating groupies like an uninvited guest..and pretending not to hear them as they pour out their last full measure of heart wide open on public food court table is as painstaking as its gets…
The creatures known as singles men/ women..stick out from the crowd,like moon in a starless night,much to their own dismay.Without anywhere to go,they will seek refuge on service stairs or behind the escalator…where they are bound to come across twisted couples.. freaks ..go get a room !!!
Maybe i’m over reacting but when the highlight of your entire day spent at the mall was seeing a cute and chubby kid running with ice cream falling flat on his head.you are bound to write a self humiliating article.Staring at the retro interior of our dearly overpriced coffee shop,I realized,our life is just the contrary of their tagline ” a lot can happen over a coffee” as our life’s inadvertently proves over and over again…. “no freaking thing is happening” whatsoever