India is a country where a guy, who no girl gives a second good look during college, after being placed in ‘Facebook’, is chased by the same girls’ parents in family functions.
Families of some girls are obsessed with finding a guy who is less of a guy and more of a techno-corporate minting dollars and has a brand name of ‘Microsoft’ or ‘Google’ in addition to his surname. Seems like the girl’s marrying Google. Now how cool is that!
As I have observed, as soon as a boy gets a job in any tremendously popular multinational firm, the girls’ parents, without even looking at the guy (leave apart meeting him personally) assume that if he and his family agree, they would give away their daughter in their house. Wow!
Here’s why the concept of Reacher-settler arises. Even if this level of desperation arises among some girls’ parents out of a concern for their daughters, it’s stupid to think that happiness of their daughter is based on the future career prospects of a guy and nothing else. The girl’s side behaves as a desperate reacher, the guy’s family start behaving as if they are settling for them and hence have an edge over them everywhere. Naturally, if you show someone you are desperate, they’ll try and take advantage. (atleast in some cases if not all, and I know it’s wrong, but then it’s true)
A major consequence of above is ‘Dowry’.I agree there are many cases where dowry is actually demanded, but in many more cases, it’s given away happily by the bride’s side. It is like an epidemic. If Mr Shukla has given a Swift, we’ll give a Honda city. So of course there will be Honda city in discussion in every household marriage fixing ceremonies around in the neighborhood. If Mrs. Khanna is all ready to give away half of her husband’s fortune to wed off her daughter so that her daughter has a comfortable life and has a say in the house she’s going to be, there’s nothing that can be done to change it.
Then why always blame the boy’s side? If you think this is not the case always, you are right. But if you think ‘Dowry system’ is grooms’ side fault always, you are wrong.
Change here is a two way process. While everyone, on the drop of the hat blames the boy’s side for being arrogant and demanding, the other side is relatively very less or just not talked about. Family of girls are treated as if they are some helpless victims falling prey to bad people who’ll exploit their daughter. In some cases, as I said, yes they are. In others, they are the culprit. It’s wrong for a guy’s family to treat a girl badly, but think of who indirectly gave them a ticket for treating her like this?
No one realizes that it’s a girl getting married to a boy. I want to say just one thing to all such parents- “Nothing else should matter, and no one is doing an ‘ehsaan’ by accepting your daughter, so please stop throwing her on them along with money and dowry. Rather, give her away with dignity letting them know it’s a marriage and not a business proposal. A good guy is not always the one placed in Facebook. He can be out there working in Wipro or TCS too, probably even more handsome than Mr. Google. You do need to see the guy and not his certificates only.”
I know many won’t agree, but it’s fine. Everyone has their own opinions and there are always two sides to a coin.