MY EXPERIENCE DEALING WITH B-SCHOOL SPAM

It is that time of the year again when it does not matters whether you are an MBA aspirant, an MBA student or have passed out, you will regardless suffer with this for the next few months. Yes, i am talking about the spam that clutters your mailbox and SMS inbox, calls from random MBA colleges, wattsapp pings that get on your nerves. More often than not, they contact you when you are busy in a workplace meeting or when preparing for your watpi of 6 new IIMs which may be your only consolation after a let down by cat results.

The caller is usually a female with a cute voice, patient and persuasive enough to make you listen for at least a few minutes. You can try to say no, but their brief is to make you consider your decision again and again, which is reflected in the number of subsequent follow up calls these nukkad type b-school make. No, hanging up isn’t an option, they will call you again right away. When you ask them not to call you again, they may get abusive and personal, resort to foul language (specially the male callers). So when I realized that this is not going to stop, I thought having some fun will not do any harm and might even help with the frustration. So here is what happened when I got calls and I always talked in Hindi or the local language.

Call 1

Caller: GM, i am calling from Xyz School of management regarding MBA.

Me: (in local language) yes I have done BA, what do you want?

C: i am calling about MBA (tried to explain what MBA is, then hung up).

Never heard from her again.

Call 2

C: I am calling from abc institute, you have given cat. Would you like to do MBA? we will give you scholarship.

Me: I don’t have money for fee (which was 10 lacs after scholarship)

C: u will get loan

Me: do not have collateral.

C: what is your percentile?

Me: told (in higher nineties).

C: this program is not suitable for you.

Me: thank you.

Call 3

C: have you taken cat this year?

Me: NOOOO (outright lie I tell ya)

C: but I have your name in cat takers list.

Me: don’t know how it got there.

C: (this is cheating, not part of my brief) OK, what are you currently doing?

Me: farming!!! In a village near Mathura. Left studies 20 years ago after passing intermediate exam.

C:(in an analytic tone) would you like to enroll in one of our old age education programs?

Me: ROFL…

Never heard from her again either.

Jokes apart, spam is a serious problem in India with laws that completely overlook the problem. It could get quite frustrating when the call you are expecting eludes you, and all calls you get are the ones that want to sell you MBA cum foreign trip packages for less than 10 lacs.

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