Life’s tough, we all know that, hence some of us (like ME) take solace in the little joys it offers, like the mellow sunset, rainy shower, mom’s food, the perfect burp, and of course, movies.

The first thing that comes in our mind while thinking of movies is Multiplex! And I’m sure that all of you would’ve come across the so called different “multiplex species” found in the multiplexes only. I’ve tried to classify them based on their characteristics in this article…..

Cootchie-Cootchie Hota Hai

This species can be found in every nook and corner of the city, umm actually, only in the nook and corners of the city. But their favorite haunt is the Multiplex. The guy, all in his pimple-faced glory, throws his body in the front so as to save his girl from the crowd. Also, their favorite time-paas in the theater is playing Tongue-Twister.

Hamare gaon mein saneema naahi hai

These are the guys, the Loverboy of the Cootchie-Cootchie species tries to protect his chick from. Dressed in their blinding gears, like a luminescent blue ganji and an equally luminescent orange track, they try to impress each and every girl they can put their eyes on. Inside the theater, these guys whistle & jabber, so that the people back in their planet can hear them watching Saneema in a Multeepeks. Also in the interval, they all will go to the canteen to buy some naasta but instead they’ll end up shouting, “Bhaiyya! Hamaar gaaon me isse sasta paap coran mil jaavat hai. Sub lootere hai yahaan per. Kya kahat ho haaiii????”

Maara Pappa nu Hol Chhe

Translating from Idiotspeak this simply means, “This Hall belongs to my father and I enforce my lineage by barging into the ticket-queues, the pop-corn queues, and in Queue Ki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahuu Thi“. Okay. It wasn’t amusing to mention Queue Ki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahuu Thi. This species also come often in large numbers, equaling the population of the Fiji Islands. They all huddle together in the canteen, in the loo, as if paying homage to each and every urinal & basin. Also their typical habit is to scratch their umm.. those parts anytime, anyplace, and anywhere possible. Sitting and bragging about the Naasto, they’ll fart, burp and do all sorts of things to endanger the lives of the people sitting near them.

So the next time you go for a movie, just look around and observe. Who knows, you might discover a new species altogether. Who knows, you might find me classifying you into one of these species. Or else, you can sit back, relax and enjoy the movie.

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