If these are the modern times, I’d rather have the ancient ones!

During the past decade, mankind has advanced leaps and bounds in the field of technology. Unfortunately, it felt the need to compensate for such advances by royally screwing up other fields. Thus presenting, the 10 annoying trends from the recent past that have crept up behind you like that velociraptor from Jurassic Park. Brr!

1. Yo Yo Honey Singh: Yes, let’s all listen to a person who feels the need to make his name cool by prefixing it not once, but twice, with a word that was cool, maybe 10 years ago. And the fact that he raps about violence against women is so rebellious! We are so cool, YO!

2. Selfies: This photo of mine (and an obligatory friend, who may or may not be cropped later) clicked by myself that shows me at a point blank range from an angle where, if you’re lucky, you can see my untrimmed nasal hair and a few pimples, is so super duper cool!

3. Facebook Check-ins: Dear family, friends, acquaintances, friends of friends and my friendly facebook stalker, I am currently at this awesome restaurant/lounge/bar/fortress of solitude feeling loved/happy/hungry/full/constipated with X/ Y/ Z/ Z’s dog yet I feel the need to tell you about this right now because I really need your attention(yes, you too dear stalker)

4. BitStrips: I want to tell my friends who are so obviously interested in knowing how awesome I am at creating visual depictions of the awesome incidents in my happening life because typing a Facebook status is so 2013. Leonardo Da Vinci, who? Is he the one from Titanic?

5. Alok Nath, Kejriwal and Rajnikanth jokes: Hey, look at me! I am funny because I use exaggeration to make people laugh. Always. Irony, sarcasm, japes, word plays, punch lines? What are these alien words you speak of?

6. X to Y hona chahiye, A to B bhi hota hai: Because logic has finally given up on the world and flung himself/herself from the top of a skyscraper

7. Rohit Shetty movies: Where the laws of Physics were next in line after Logic on top of a skyscraper!

8. Indian TV soaps: Well, logic is already dead so what the hell…eh? Let’s kill the art of acting and storytelling next.

9. Oopah Gangnam Style: What are you trying to say? Are you having a stroke? Convulsions?

10. Harlem Shake: This one is actually so bad that people feel the need to wear masks while doing it.

This is not an exhaustive list because these trends keep cropping up every day and one would need the speed of a hyperactive squirrel drunk on Red Bull to type it all up. Life, as the great Ian Malcolm once said, always finds a way. And so does craziness!

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I promise to be less lazy and write more in the coming days.