To the lady Ana,
Though I have made a habit of writing you late at night, in the hours shortly before sleep should claim me, I’m afraid that I must break the habit with this newest letter. It’s the middle of the day here, although you might not know it from the way in which the sun hides itself behind the clouds. It’s as if Sol was unable to rest during the moon’s vigil, and now that it is in the sky it cannot find the energy to burn as brightly as it should.
Like the sun, I am also coming from a small night. My eyes closed around 11pm, and but then opened at around 1am – and have been wide ever since.The reasons for this are long, and perhaps too much to go into. I know that for most life is full of some ups and downs – and so they create a system where “thinking positively” is how you solve most issues. To their way of thinking most troubles are merely a matter of perspective, and with patience you can overcome anything.
My polite response to this: They don’t know what real trouble is. A real problem is one that cannot be solved by positive thinking or patience alone. If all it takes is the right perspective, then it’s just wind and emotional drama. Nothing more.
So the few people I have told of my situation, they have invariably told me this advice. To be positive. To just apply yourself and be patient. That there are no real difficulties. In time then I’ve learned not to tell people, after hearing this too many times. I have reasons for being awake at 1 am, and they are locked away within my body for now. ?
PS:You don’t have to give up on anything, even if you are ambitious. Of course, it is a matter of priorities as well. If what you seek is more important to you than what you need then naturally it will be harder to find what you really want.