Its an unshakable feeling, a haunting experience and I’m fighting it right now. It feels like standing on a cliff while the sun is about to set and mystique of darkness is about to encompass me. The breeze is getting colder by the minute, a dark cloud is hovering around and fear is chilling my spine. Am I alone?.
I’m tempted to turn around but thought better of it. What if no one is there? Or worse What if the person I wish to see is not there?. The breeze is slowly turning into a wind and worse, and its not helping.
The cliff is shaking, or is it just me?. The wind is forcing me to shut my eyes. Maybe this is the end, when senses part ways and legs begin to crumple. I couldn’t help wondering when will death personifies and invites me for a game of chess for the last time. Or will the angel of death save herself the trouble and utter “zugswang“.
In the dimming light, a silhouette walked into my clouded vision, constantly, swearing something inaudibly. I couldn’t care less but I desperately need not to be alone. In a failed attempt to concentrate, the fear got the better of me and was forced to kneel. Much to my surprise, I saw the vast field of rye around and under my tired limps. And the silhouette stood beside me, wearing a hunting cap, singing “If a body catch a body comin through the rye…”
I couldn’t hide the smile flickered across my lips and thought that the silhouette couldn’t be introduced any better. Not many is fond of walking around the edge of a cliff in a hunting cap singing Robert burns wrongly like Holden Caulfield. He, before I could say anything, put the hunting cap on me, patted on my shoulder and pointed towards the edge.
Hope or whatever of it was remaining, vanished with him. The wind is changing into a storm and fear along with desperation made my skeleton shiver.Still afraid to look back,my thoughts lingered around the idea of giving up. The setting sun was a reminder. Before the hell broke loose, under the cover of darkness, I decided to face the inevitable.
Without finding a strong footing amidst vigorous wind and turbulent mind, I limped to the edge. The dusk coloured the contours of horizon in shades of red. I yearn for the cliff to give way under me. The depth and dance of death enticed me with a glimpse to long forgotten tranquillity. I closed my eyes, felt the calming wind for one last time and was about to step into the mesmerizing world of unknown.
In those moments, I heard a faint voice, calling me, not from the depth but from behind. Feeling the first drops of rain, I stepped back and turned around ….her smile was angelic