My lost Dream MBA

Realization of the fact that your dreams would never be fulfilled hurts.What hurts more is the fact that you realize that you were not that far from achieving them.Dreams are like bubbles,them amaze you when you see them when you get closer try to actually touch them they blow off.After spending 2 years in IT industry I realized that I wasn’t made to be here.There are thousands of engineers like me who are working here.How do I make a difference?At every step I realized my work was somehow not projected because of my managers.That’s when I realized I want to be a manager so that I am able to get the credit for what I do.I could not spend whole of my life in front of the computer screen debugging and coding.Then the journey started.

Finding a coaching institute in a place that is more than one and half hours away from the city was a difficult ask.But what was more difficult was the fact that I could not take the heat of Chennai and travel in the scorching heat even on Saturdays and Sundays.The importance of weekend in an IT professional’s life is a known fact.So I decided to start studying on my own for CAT.Maybe that was the biggest mistake I made as I realize that it was a competition and someway the people who get coaching are better than the ones who do not go for coaching.

And then the struggle started.It was just the starting of the struggle that I faced a new hurdle.A new project in a new technology.Somehow I felt cheated as I was told that I would have to work in some other technology but I ended up working in some other technology.Starting from the scratch in the project and starting learning a new technology along with so much work pressure didn’t make me lose hope.I would go early in the morning and sometimes skip my lunch even to complete my work on time so that I could leave early ans study.Somehow my conscious did not allow me to even give a 99% at work because I was preparing for CAT.The moral science taught in my school is to be blamed.

Somehow tried to balance my studies with my work life.But then my health played the spoilsport.Taking cough syrups and studying at night became more difficult.Just then I tried to overcome the same then my roomies started coming late expecting me to cook for four people alone.Tried to convince them to cooperate till my exams are done .But “Go home if you wanna study” attitude hurt me a lot.

Despite all theses things I wrote my CAT.Felt drowsy in the first part of the exam because of the medicines but surprisingly scored more in that part.The exam was over.My 1 year’s struggle,dedication and hard-work was at stake.I felt cheated when I came to know that some of the students knew some repeated questions.But then I thought I would get whatever is in my destiny.

The result was out and I had scored only 84 percentile.With this percentile I could not get into a Tier 1 college and with my experience getting into some mediocre college was not worth it.Somehow convinced myself that it’s not in my fate.I would switch my job and get a better package.Started preparing for a job switch.

Somehow whenever I try to study online,I end up surfing pagalguy.The hope in me never died and it’s still there.Even though I am preparing for a job switch my heart is inclined towards my dream.Maybe someday I would end up studying again for CAT again.I just hope that my lost dream comes true one day.I hope my lost belief in myself come back again.

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