Life starts when we are born and life changes of the couple to whom a child is born. The day it becomes known of a woman being pregnant, the prospective parents start planning about their child’s future. They plan about where the child will study, what kind of friends he/she will have, even who the child will become, i.e., either an engineer or a doctor and even an MBA these days! They plan to provide the best possible facilities to their child and keep on guiding him/her throughout his/her life.
General perception is that, parents do everything for their child out of love. But is it really so? When parents provide a child with good manners, don’t they think that “If we provide our child good manners he’ll behave in a good way in front of others making us look good”. When parents provide good facilities to their child, don’t they think that “If we provide him with these facilities he’ll become a self sufficient person and he will take our care in our old age” We have a popular phrase in Hindi “Budhape ka Sahara”, does this phrase justifies an unconditional love from parents?
It seems offensive when we think spending on a child as an investment for old age. But don’t all the parents do the same? Whenever a child does something which parents have not expected, it hurts them. But do loving comes inherent with expectations?
Another idea which jigs my mind is, whenever a child does something good, like getting 1st rank in school or acing any competition, it brings proud to the parents but if the same child fails where parents expected him/her to ace, it brings parents dishonor. He is treated as if he has committed a sinful crime, which cannot be forgiven. A few parents might justify it stating it a strategy to motivate the child, but how many of us get motivated by censuring?
We all love our parents to an extent that we don’t think such aspects about them which goes against the convention of parents loving their child unconditionally. We do as they say until we develop our own mentality. But isn’t the thinking developed by us also a part of teachings transmitted by our parents? Aren’t the parents responsible for everything a child becomes? If it’s so then why only success of a child is acceptable to parents and not the failure? And if it’s the opposite, then why do parents praise themselves when the child succeeds in his/her life?
I know it’s a bit rude to say that there is an unspoken contract between child and parents which says “I am raising you up to take my care in my old age” but isn’t it something which we all know but abstain to face it?
I don’t have any opinion for the words I’ve written in this article but it’s an open question to all which I believe the generation-x will definitely like to discuss.