Love is painful, but the pain is certainly a blessing. Love is painful because love brings growth. Love demands, transforms and is painful because love gives you a new birth. Love brings your heart into relationship — and when the heart is in relationship there is always pain. If you avoid the pain, you will miss all pleasures of life. With love you become human; you stand erect on earth. With love you are vertical With love are problems. But with problems is growth — the greater the problem, the greater the opportunity.
More and more pain, too. That’s why many people never love — it is so painful. They never become vertical. Love never shatters you completely. It simply shatters you a little, a little bit It shatters the crust of your ego, but the centre of the ego remains intact. Then there is a deeper pain, deeper than love, and that is of prayer — it shatters you utterly It is death. When you have learnt how to love, and you have learnt that the pain that love brings is a blessing in disguise, it is beautiful, then you become able and you take another step — that step is prayer.
All lovers feel a little miserable. They would like to disappear completely, but it is not possible in human relationships. Human relationship is limited. But one learns from it, that there is a possibility: if it can happen so much in a human relationship, how much more can happen in a relationship with the Divine? Love makes you ready to take the final jump, the quantum leap. That’s what I call prayer, or you can call it meditation. You have to disappear for existence to be. Love is a training ground, a school, to learn first lessons — of the beauty, of the blessing and benediction of disappearance; to learn that pain is blessed.
So when you are in love, or when love arises, cooperate with it, don’t try resisting. People come to a compromise. The basic problem that I have been looking at is that lovers by and by come to a compromise. The compromise is: You don’t hurt me, I will not hurt you. That’s what marriage is. Then people become settled. They become so afraid of pain that they say, “Don’t hurt me and I will not hurt you.” But then when pain disappears, love also disappears. They exist together. When you are in love, love hurts.
It hurts terribly. But never resist, never create any barrier for pain. Allow it. And by and by, you will see that it was a wrong interpretation. It is not really pain. It is just that something is going so deep in you that you interpret it like a pain. You don’t know anything else. You are only aware of pain in your past life, in your past experience. Whenever something penetrates deep, you interpret it as pain. Don’t use the word ‘pain’. When love and love’s arrow goes deep into your heart, close your eyes and don’t use words — just see what it is, and you will never see it is pain.
This is not my original writing but an inspiration from an article read long time back whose author’s name I cannot recollect as of now.