Interview- Call of the desperate

There is always a huge difference between what we are expected to say in an interview and what we actually want to yell out on being asked certain specific questions. Might not apply to some people, but many, especially applying for B-schools, will be able to relate to what I am trying to convey. Following are some contrasts:

Q. Tell us about yourself.

Expected answer: Diplomatic and balanced piece about oneself.

Intention: You want to know about me? Well, I am almost done with my graduation degree, jobless. Filled up 20 forms here and there, from CAT to MAT, all possible. I am VERY desperate to get into any freaking college of MBA offering even a little chance of placing me 2 years later.

Q. What have you learnt in your graduation degree and why are you changing your field from Engineering/Science/Arts etc. to Business administration?

Expected answer: I want to expand my point of view over what is available to what can be achieved.

Intention-: My graduation has been like a dream. I see it, feel it, but just after it is over, I do not quite remember what it is about. I am clueless. When it comes to management as a choice, I can opt for any other field. I can study in a botanical institute planting trees for two years if I you guarantee me a job after that.

Q. How will you contribute to the B-school if you are selected?

Expected answer: Contribute to it’s achievements by making full use of opportunity blah blah blah.

Intention: First in order to call it ‘My’ B-school, I have to give away a fortune from my parents bank balance or get a loan financed from bank in my name, with no guarantee of repayment. I’ll try to study for grades, appear in campus placements and try and get a job. Do hell with your b-school and it’s development.

Q. Justify your year gap.

Expected answer: I prepared for something, some innovative research, etc.

Intention-: I screwed up my entrance exams.Tried again, and then again screwed them up. Then I tried for MBA entrance. With the expressions on your face, I am pretty sure that history is going to repeat itself.

And last one-

Q. Why should we select you?

Expected answer: I am the perfect choice, I will work for development, etc etc etc. (All cliche lines)

Intention: I am desperate. Very desperate. I will do anything ranging from jumping from the window over roof below, to dancing on ‘Chikni chameli’. Take me in. If today you reject me, your ill fate will make you suffer. Your wife will leave you, so will your girlfriend.Your kids will throw you out someday and so will your boss. Don’t you have a heart? Take me. Take me please, because I, my sir, am desperate.