The man on the other side told me to be at the Camp and that it was urgent. I am a foster kid. My father is a retired army man. I knew the drill. I knew that when its the not the voice of the person you expect call from, its something evil and bad.I called up a close friend. I could not do this alone.

“Ana! What’s wrong?”, Alex asked. “I want you to come with me to the Navy camp. Please. Its Sam”. I was teary-eyed. He nodded and ushered me to his jeep. We reached there. Everyone was busy and there were people carrying bodies. My heart sank. I knew something was wrong. I could not breathe. Alex was talking to a senior officer. I stood few feet away. I looked around hoping to see Sam. I kept praying.

“Ana.”, I heard a familiar voice. I knew him.He was Sammy’s friend.”Where’s Sam?”, was all I could manage. “There was an accident. The ammo went off on the ship.” I stared at him helplessly. “Where’s Sam? Tell me he is okay?”, I spoke through the tears.”I don’t know, Ana. No one has seen him since the accident. No one could give any information about him.”

“He is declared missing from the ship.”, Alex said.

It was hard to process. “What do you mean missing? You were with him,Right?”, I asked the officer, Sammy’s friend.

“I was with him on the ship. But he and I were on different parts. He was at the radar.”, he said. “That’s close to where the ammo exploded”, he added sympathetically. “So, what? He is..Is he dead? he can’t…”, I could not speak. The pain was consuming me. He can’t be dead.

“We can’t say that yet.”, Alex tried to console me. “So what do we do?”, I asked them, feeling helpless.

“We are trying our best, lady! The best you can do is to stay calm and let us do our work!”, he said. Alex helped me to a corner. “He just dies? After everything, he just dies? he can’t die, Alex.”

“I know”, said Alex.

The officer asked us to leave and said that he would let us know if there are any developments. There was no news about him. I had called them several times. Hours had passed and I kept hoping against all odds that he would be alive. I prayed to every saint I knew. My body ached. Exhausted, I read his mails again. The last mail was two days ago,when he said he could not wait to see me. My thoughts haunted me. I felt terrible for even doubting my love for him. I knew I loved him. May be I did not deserve someone as kind and honorable as him!

I felt terrible. May be this was the punishment! I wished not.

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