[gaurav200x]

One famous example i can think of is Gangajal... If we group together, then there wont be any case of any deterrent fellow who tries to do any do anything ugly to our sisters, mothers, aunties and friends.... If u guys correctly remember that, in Gangajal, the whole mob broke on the goons who were trying to harass those girl students.... and then they had to run for their lives...!!
If we guys can show the power of the hot, young boiling blood running in our veins, then we can bring a revolution and anybody would think a million times before even thinking of committing such hideous act....

We need is to unite against such villains and give tham a nice taste of blows and brickbats.. i agree that violence is not a solution for everything, but we need something drastic to combat this devil...

If u see Delhi, the rape capital of India, life is very insecure for girls here, with scoundrels loitering hither and thither and everywhere.... Yes, educating our ladies is definitely a premanent solution, but at the same time, it is our duty also, to ensure that they are safe and we intrude in anything alike that we see..... and not just not care, as though it is none of our business.... If today it is happening with a girl, we dont' know, then , God forbid! , tomorrow, it can happen with a girl we know, and then what will we do?? Wait for the police to take action.... wait for the court to give judgement.... Acting sensibly is one thing, but making it our duty to fight crime is another....

I think all puys would agree with me.... Comments are most welcome

[lone.verse]

Gaurav, there's one thing you're forgetting here, something very big and very disturbing.
WOMEN ARE SCARED.
They're scared of being harassed, they're scared to tell anyone that they were harassed, they're even scared of telling the motherf***** to stop harassing them!!
A man messed with a friend of mine, when she was young and travelling on the bus with her family. It was an all-night journey, and everyone get's different seats to sleep on. This man started touching her, and she slapped his hand away. Then he pinched her so hard, she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. She didn't tell her parents, coz she didn't want them to make a scene.
Four-five years later, I was the first person she confessed all this to. Even then, she couldn't keep herself from crying at her helplessness, because she still hadn't learnt how to deal with these kind of cockoraches. She opened up to me just coz I was telling her about my experiences (yeah, lots more).
Moral of the story - Open up, and don't be scared. The worst they can do is kill you, and even that's better than having to live silently with the abuse.

[lone.verse]

One thing I'd recommend to all women would be to learn some kind of defensive martial arts - that's just coz it actually gives you a lot of confidence.
Another very important thing - don't hesitate to ask others for help, especially if you are dealing with a situation all alone, OR if there are more than one people harassing you at the same time.
Three - don't be a pushover. If you are sure that someone is touching you on purpose, without your permission, be firm, and rude, in telling him to back off. If he doesn't, THEN make a scene

One very important thing that my dad always taught me - don't use weapons like blades, pen-knives etc. unless
1) you're prepared to face the consequences for using them
2) you USE them effectively, and not just brandish them THREATENING to use them....don't make idle threats. If you're about to do something, do it. Don't hesitate, or you might find yourself at the blade end instead of the hilt.
3) Unless the situation is so utterly horribly hopeless (like being kidnapped on a moving vehicle while travelling alone), DON'T USE ANY WEAPONS.

[gaurav200x]

Originally Posted by lone.verse

Gaurav, there's one thing you're forgetting here, something very big and very disturbing.
WOMEN ARE SCARED.
They're scared of being harassed, they're scared to tell anyone that they were harassed, they're even scared of telling the motherf***** to stop harassing them!!
A man messed with a friend of mine, when she was young and travelling on the bus with her family. It was an all-night journey, and everyone get's different seats to sleep on. This man started touching her, and she slapped his hand away. Then he pinched her so hard, she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. She didn't tell her parents, coz she didn't want them to make a scene.
Four-five years later, I was the first person she confessed all this to. Even then, she couldn't keep herself from crying at her helplessness, because she still hadn't learnt how to deal with these kind of cockoraches. She opened up to me just coz I was telling her about my experiences (yeah, lots more).
Moral of the story - Open up, and don't be scared. The worst they can do is kill you, and even that's better than having to live silently with the abuse.

My dear,
i totally agree with u.... I can feel the bitterness in u... and i accept what u say/feel.... But then, tell me, isn't that this sheepish attitude (i think sheepish would be a better word than coward) that strengthens those monsters.... The girl becomes so much pressurized about her family's reputation, her prestige... that even if she wants to say it, blurt it out, her lips are sealed or rather they are forced to seal...

Unlces and aunties around will keep on saying truck loads of crap.... but it is upto us (the victims... ) to think over it.... Why was that girl able to tell u and not her family.... precisely that's why.... She had lost trust on her family, thinking what will they say.... ho sakta hai, they might tell her it is her fault... But she found u and confided in u...

This is what we have to do..... gain the trust... free them from inhibitions...
I know it is easier said, than done..... but all major things have to start from a point, isnt it..? The only point that lies here is, whom to trust?

But as far as the boldness is concerned, u girls would have to become bold... there is no medicine for it.... u have to show that u are lesser than none and if such 'cockroach' comes, u have the will power to crush IT

i dont say, u start doing body building for it, but there are ways, i can think of..... but would like the girls to start with it... and then we can contribute with the ideas...

[lone.verse]

As mentioned before, empowerment starts in the mind.
The one reason(the only reason) why I support blanknoiseproject is because it'll help people to come out with their experiences. Seeing someone else talk about it tends to make one get over one's fears as well.
Sometimes, its not just fear of parents or relatives that makes girls hesitate to tell them their problems. Sometimes, it is also fear of appearing to be weak, of appeared to have taken it when one should have protested.

[gaurav200x]

Originally Posted by lone.verse

One thing I'd recommend to all women would be to learn some kind of defensive martial arts - that's just coz it actually gives you a lot of confidence.

As u said it and its very right that u have put it on the top most....

This is the most effective solution.... I think, it gives the girls a chance for an effective resistance and helps them to be more self-confident...

Its not only martial arts, but even if u play sports and maintain a strong healthy body, u will feel confident... So girls playing football, badminton, running etc should feel fit to help themselves counter anything...

Originally Posted by lone.verse

Another very important thing - don't hesitate to ask others for help, especially if you are dealing with a situation all alone, OR if there are more than one people harassing you at the same time.

True!!!! Please dont.... and one thing i would like to say here......

Guys!! dont turn away from a situation like this, when it calls u.... dont turn ur back.... thinking it is none of my business.... God forbid! it may become ur business one day... So always keep on alert... It is our contribution too that our ladies will finally feel free from all fears and will be able to move around without any hesitation.... Life doesn't give u too many chances to prove ur valour and gentleman-ness, so dont become a coward and prove what a MAN of SUBSTANCE u are...

Goodness begets goodness..

Originally Posted by lone.verse

Three - don't be a pushover. If you are sure that someone is touching you on purpose, without your permission, be firm, and rude, in telling him to back off. If he doesn't, THEN make a scene

Girls, u should never feel scared in raising ur voices..... Tolerating crime like cowards is also a crime... So come forward and show those rascals... that women if can be like menaka or apsara (symbol of beauty), they also come in the form of Kali and Durga..

Originally Posted by lone.verse

One very important thing that my dad always taught me - don't use weapons like blades, pen-knives etc. unless
1) you're prepared to face the consequences for using them
2) you USE them effectively, and not just brandish them THREATENING to use them....don't make idle threats. If you're about to do something, do it. Don't hesitate, or you might find yourself at the blade end instead of the hilt.
3) Unless the situation is so utterly horribly hopeless (like being kidnapped on a moving vehicle while travelling alone), DON'T USE ANY WEAPONS.

Well.... as for weapons, u need to be fully skilled to use them.... As the good lady has said, if u are not, u can be not the receiving end too... and that too badly.... Know when to fight and when to run away....

I suggest that u always move around in groups.... so that u can face the danger together and combat it effectively... U feel more secure and better in strength when u are together, rather alone...

@lone.verse Thanks for bringing that mistake to my notice

[gaurav200x]

Originally Posted by lone.verse

As mentioned before, empowerment starts in the mind.
The one reason(the only reason) why I support blanknoiseproject is because it'll help people to come out with their experiences. Seeing someone else talk about it tends to make one get over one's fears as well.
Sometimes, its not just fear of parents or relatives that makes girls hesitate to tell them their problems. Sometimes, it is also fear of appearing to be weak, of appeared to have taken it when one should have protested.

that's why we have this thread.... and encouraging voices like u and me so that these people can feel comforted... they get in touch with others who have seen similiar situations.... and hence, their not.so.open mind, opens up and they too reveal what they have faced..... U know courage begets courage and when people are in like situations, then they starting feeling more comfortable.... They might not be able to speak to their parents or relatives, but they can speak here.... figuring, that their true reality would not be disclosed here...

[lone.verse]

sometimes, its difficult, if not impossible, to move around in groups.
And what about loners like me?:satisfie:
Once a group of drunk men started harassing me, again on a bus. This time, I was alone, at two in the morning, coming home from my hostel. I also made the mistake of sitting in the back of the bus, that too a govt. bus. It was crowded when I'd gotten in, but slowly the crowd got off, and the lights were switched off, so everyone fell asleep. So did I, comfortably alone on my long seat that was made for three people..

A strange scratching on one side of my torso awoke me. I woke up, terrified, only to find one of the men sitting beside me and trying to get his hand through my dupatta. His other friends had gathered around, watching. I froze, not knowing what to do next. Then, a man got up from the seat behind me, and told that other guy to move away from me. He did, but I was still scared. and it was obvious from the look on my face.

So this kind man, who was an army officer, dropped me home at 4 in the morning, in an auto. I will never forget his kindness, when I needed it most. My only regret is that I never even said "thank you" properly, or ask for his name. I've never seen him again.

[gaurav200x]

Well lone.verse....
That was really some incident.... and i must admit that u have been very lucky... (thank God! ) Anyway, there are few things we can learn from it... and as i think, it should be.....

1) Avoid travelling late at night.... if possible take an afternoon conveyance, so that u can reach ur home by evening... If ur home is far away, then try going in groups... U might find other girls or boys who would be travellling near ur destination....
2) Govt. buses are fine... but i like pvt. buses bcoz u dont find any rowdies in there...
3) I guess that in ur case, there werent many people in the bus and hence try to take an alternative conveyance, wherein u know that max people travel to the place where u r going.... This may not be feasible in all cases, but if u are a regular visitor to some place, then u can think of it...

One thing that is a must is, that u always have to be on guard if u are travelling alone..

[miltond]

Sexual harassment stems from sexual discrimination, which is omnipresent.

How do we stem sexual discrimination?