[anujdas2000]

I have redrafted it, please give ur reviews...

I have pursued my Bachelor’s of Engineering in Electronics and Communications Engineering from Rajasthan University. Electronics Engineering involves a lot of complex and intricate analysis of the circuitry as well as datasheets of them in order to come up with both a cost and energy efficient circuit model. First degree in engineering has ingrained in me the nuances of problem solving and the art of arriving at solutions in complex situations. It has broadened my analytical horizons apart from imparting in me a sound knowledge in my course of study. During the four years of my engineering I was actively involved and had demonstrated my leadership skills in the extracurricular as well as social activities. Being a part of the core committee organizing my college’s technical festival for two consecutive years, designated as the treasurer of Association of Communications and Electronics Engineering – the student body involved in organizing seminars and events for the students of electronics and communication engineering, and as a part of the core committee organizing “TAARE”- a district level painting competition I realized my leadership skills. I aspire to lead a business organization someday, bring about ideas which change and help the society to be a better one. Ten years down the line, I aim to be a part of senior management and be known as a person who has technical as well as strong managerial skills to drive and achieve the goals for the firm. I believethatlearning is a never-ending process and to be an efficient leader I need to understand the fundamentals of management, fostering my understanding of the world of business. A management study will provide me with theoretical understanding, an in depth idea of practical approaches in aiding managerial decision-making and necessary skills to enable me to develop an expertise in the core areas of managerial strategies and global corporate operations. The two years master in management program would give me immense opportunities in terms of multi – cultural experience, international exposure, competitive cohort, collaborative learning, making the program perfectly in alignment with career goals.

[MartianOnEarth]

Originally Posted by anujdas2000

Martian i had a doubt, in order to make it unique to my profile, i wuld have to add my experiences and extra curricular activities from the past 4 years of my grad supporting my statements . But in my application i have a separate question for that stating---


4- Describe your extra-curricular activities over the last few years (leisure time, social life, clubs, volunteer work, etc.)*
Wouldnt mentioning the same set of things twice affect my application??
So how do i manage that, if u could please throw some light upon it...

To answer your question - Yes, avoid repetition.

But question 4 seems focused purely on extra-curriculars. I don't see an overlap if you talk about academic/professional stuff in the earlier question and how this degree will help fill those gaps.

Is there a web-link where I can take a look at the full application requirements of this univ including all the questions they ask? It'll give me a better idea.

[anujdas2000]

Originally Posted by MartianOnEarth

To answer your question - Yes, avoid repetition.

But question 4 seems focused purely on extra-curriculars. I don't see an overlap if you talk about academic/professional stuff in the earlier question and how this degree will help fill those gaps.

Is there a web-link where I can take a look at the full application requirements of this univ including all the questions they ask? It'll give me a better idea.

actually there is no such link to it, u need to generate a new form, i am actually applying for Masters in Management Program in france, fillin the form on www.sai.ccip.fr Please give your reviews on this re drafted SOP...
thanx for ur help

[suresh0110]

Hi all,
This thread has pretty much been my guide in cooking this up , hope someone can review and post suggestions.

/ * SOP Start * /


While doing engineering, I had been introduced to the world of technology. The bachelor’s degree in computer science has given me a strong foundation in the technical nuances of the rapidly evolving software industry. However, along with my strong academic education, I consider a significant part of my learning to have come from interactions with my peers, seniors and teachers in college. At this stage, as a computer science engineer with an appetite for technology, I believed “Technology meant Business”.
Having learnt the theoretical aspects of how to build software, my stint at Cognizant Technology Solutions, gave me the opportunity to work, learn and experience the various aspects of software development. Being a part of a large team taught me the virtues of discipline, dedication, team work and the importance of achieving the set goals through effective man management. I could experience various business processes and learnt to appreciate as well as look at them with a critical eye.
Having worked in a software services industry for two years, moving to SpikeSource Software Pvt. Ltd allowed me to understand the way software as a product is developed and marketed.
Through the years of working in the software industry, I have realized that even though technology is quintessential to most business today, the driving force is the business itself and technology is only a means to it. This has kindled in me a desire to augment my skills further and attain a thorough understanding of the nuances of business. The MBA address areas that are familiar to me (such as Information Technology and communication) as well as areas that would contribute to my impacting the international business community in a positive and more complete way.
[INSTITUTE NAME] with its world-class faculty, infrastructure, and with a history of attracting the best minds in the country, is thus a natural choice of mine for doing my MBA. I feel convinced that undertaking an MBA program at [INSTITUTE NAME] will be a step in the right direction for my goal.


/ * SOP END * /

[MartianOnEarth]

Originally Posted by anujdas2000

actually there is no such link to it, u need to generate a new form, i am actually applying for Masters in Management Program in france, fillin the form on www.sai.ccip.fr Please give your reviews on this re drafted SOP...
thanx for ur help

The updated version addresses one of the issues that we listed earlier i.e. uniqueness. But watch out for duplications and overlaps with Question 4.

Also, the language and syntax still needs polishing. Am sure you'll get there with a few iterations. After many cycles, you'll start getting conditioned to the errors and they won't jump out of the page [e.g. Master(s) in Management]. So get a few others (friends, maybe) to read it and give their comments.

All the best.

[abhijain1983]

Hello guys,
I am new here. I recently gave GMAT and scored 700. I have 5 years work ex in IT including 3 with manager profile. I am going to apply few UK and Europe colleges.. I started filling applications few days ago.. I knew it isn't going to be simple but it is much harder that i thought..
I wrote essays of MBS application and SOP but am not sure how can I get them reviewed.. I have few friends in good colleges but they all seems to be very busy right now.. Would you suggest me going to some consulting agency or essay editing services in India? I live in Pune and won't mind travelling to Mumbai. Please suggest.

Thanks a lot in advance.. You are doing a great job here! God bless you all!

[MartianOnEarth]

Originally Posted by abhijain1983

Hello guys,
I am new here. I recently gave GMAT and scored 700. I have 5 years work ex in IT including 3 with manager profile. I am going to apply few UK and Europe colleges.. I started filling applications few days ago.. I knew it isn't going to be simple but it is much harder that i thought..
I wrote essays of MBS application and SOP but am not sure how can I get them reviewed.. I have few friends in good colleges but they all seems to be very busy right now.. Would you suggest me going to some consulting agency or essay editing services in India? I live in Pune and won't mind travelling to Mumbai. Please suggest.

Thanks a lot in advance.. You are doing a great job here! God bless you all!

Check out the PG shop. You'll have a lead there.

[bharathraj1]

Originally Posted by suresh0110

Hi all,
This thread has pretty much been my guide in cooking this up , hope someone can review and post suggestions.

/ * SOP Start * /


While doing engineering, I had been introduced to the world of technology. The bachelor’s degree in computer science has given me a strong foundation in the technical nuances of the rapidly evolving software industry. However, along with my strong academic education, I consider a significant part of my learning to have come from interactions with my peers, seniors and teachers in college. At this stage, as a computer science engineer with an appetite for technology, I believed “Technology meant Business”.
Having learnt the theoretical aspects of how to build software, my stint at Cognizant Technology Solutions, gave me the opportunity to work, learn and experience the various aspects of software development. Being a part of a large team taught me the virtues of discipline, dedication, team work and the importance of achieving the set goals through effective man management. I could experience various business processes and learnt to appreciate as well as look at them with a critical eye.
Having worked in a software services industry for two years, moving to SpikeSource Software Pvt. Ltd allowed me to understand the way software as a product is developed and marketed.
Through the years of working in the software industry, I have realized that even though technology is quintessential to most business today, the driving force is the business itself and technology is only a means to it. This has kindled in me a desire to augment my skills further and attain a thorough understanding of the nuances of business. The MBA address areas that are familiar to me (such as Information Technology and communication) as well as areas that would contribute to my impacting the international business community in a positive and more complete way.
[INSTITUTE NAME] with its world-class faculty, infrastructure, and with a history of attracting the best minds in the country, is thus a natural choice of mine for doing my MBA. I feel convinced that undertaking an MBA program at [INSTITUTE NAME] will be a step in the right direction for my goal.


/ * SOP END * /

Hi, for a start i would say it is a decent effort. but i have found a few sentences in your SOP which are quite controversial.

In an IT company, technology is not the means, but is the most crucial aspect using which IT companies creates solutions for their clients. in fact most IT companies when they start, wouldn't have had any business side at all. its only after the company begins to grow that the business side begins to get important. Again, the number of people working on the business side is a very small fraction of the number of people working in the technology side. Also, im sure you would have seen that IT companies always strives to ensure that the employees are technologically up to speed with the trends in the market.
So Technology in an IT company is super crucial.

i also found some companies being named in your writeup, but no reference to the type of company that you are talking about. i haven't heard Spykeware Source, and unless i know what company it is, i wont have a clue what you are trying to say, and i guess the same goes with the panelists too.

i might have got your flow wrong, with you putting business ahead of technology, but unless you justify your stand, i think your SOP doesnt make any impact at all. a decent effort, but it needs a lot of thinking from your end as to why you need a career shift



Bharath

[suresh0110]

Originally Posted by bharathraj1

Hi, for a start i would say it is a decent effort. but i have found a few sentences in your SOP which are quite controversial.

In an IT company, technology is not the means, but is the most crucial aspect using which IT companies creates solutions for their clients. in fact most IT companies when they start, wouldn't have had any business side at all. its only after the company begins to grow that the business side begins to get important. Again, the number of people working on the business side is a very small fraction of the number of people working in the technology side. Also, im sure you would have seen that IT companies always strives to ensure that the employees are technologically up to speed with the trends in the market.
So Technology in an IT company is super crucial.

i also found some companies being named in your writeup, but no reference to the type of company that you are talking about. i haven't heard Spykeware Source, and unless i know what company it is, i wont have a clue what you are trying to say, and i guess the same goes with the panelists too.

i might have got your flow wrong, with you putting business ahead of technology, but unless you justify your stand, i think your SOP doesnt make any impact at all. a decent effort, but it needs a lot of thinking from your end as to why you need a career shift


Bharath

Hi ,
I understand what u are saying but my point of contention is not that technology is not important , but that understanding the true business need and designing a fool proof business architecture is the crux, technology is only a facilitator to implement that. and within that lies my desire is to make a transition to the business side of technology.

About the company name, Pointy taken.

Ill try and redraft with a better flow and making my goal more clear.

Thanks for your inputs

Suresh

[ansh.python]

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