Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA)

sumit82 · **Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA) -** 06-06-2005, 06:42 PM

Hi Guys,

I plan to start this little thread where people can put up there essay on a topic, so that others can review the same and pass on some valuable information which might help them in their GMAT.

Analysis of an ISSUE

Topic:-
Many people believe that second language fluency is crucial to personal development and international accord, also maintain that language training should begin early whereas some people believe that second language fluency is not important for Americans.

I thought i would chalk out some points to support that second language fluency is important. I am just briefly mentioning some points, plz review the same and let me know if I am going in the Right Direction:-

1. Language plays a very important in binding any culture. A fluency over second language would help in interacting with people from a different community. Ideas can be shared and a lot of things can be learned from those communities. One can always learn a new things by interacting with people outside his own community. You can learn about their outlook towards life and various international matters.

2. Second language plays a very important role in the corporate world. For all you know, You might be interacting with a German/Japanese client and a command over a language other than your's might give you that extra edge. People always appreciate the effort put in by an individual to learn a language that does not come naturally to them. Similarly for International Agreements it does help to know about the intricacies of another country, language is a key ingredient towards this step.

3. Language training should begin early because habits inculcated in an individual at a young age stay with him for a longer period. Also it would be very difficult for adults to learn a second language, they would have to find time from their usual schedules which is not always possible.

Mainly these 3 points rest starting and ending.

Regards
Sumit

dfordhiraj · **My response - Please give your critiques -** 25-06-2005, 06:28 PM

Language plays a very important role in determining one's communication skills. It is one of the key aspects which differentiate human being from other living creatures. But when it comes to professional carrier, I believe that it is beneficial to learn a single language which is widely accepted than learning many languages.

A primary reason for this belief is the ability to focus and concentrate on the basic skills will decrease. If second language would be included in student's curriculum, they will have to focus and study two languages, which in turn, will decrease the time a student is able to devote on other basic skills. It will in turn affect his skills in both the languages. So the effect would be counter productive. Instead of gaining fluency in both the languages, the student will not be able to have fluency in any language.

Another reason is that at the time of elementary school, the development of children is at it's peak. This is the time when they can grasp most of the subjects easily; it is also the time when they start choosing their possible carrier paths.

Also, there are so many langugages which can be considered for secondary langugage, There would be no clear unanyomous guideline which can decide which language to be considered as a secondary language.

It is true that a person knowing a secondary language will have an added advantage to the one who does not have. But, at what stage of life, which language would be required is a pure matter of coincidence. There is also doubt on how much a person would be able to recall on the second language course, when it is needed, as the course would have been imparted in elementary school. Secondly, if at a later stage of life, a language other than english, if at all becomes indispensable, learning a second language should not take significantly more time compared to time taken during elementary school. Till the time, the person can communicate through other communication methods also - hiring a professional translator, an electronic inter language converters to name a few. And more importantly, what matters more is how good are you at your professional skills rather than how many languages you know. Even, a person can learn second language in his professional carrier as a hobby. This will be a better alternative to the need to learn secondary language in elementary school.

It is well said that Jack of all trades and master of none. Rather than learning many lanugages, it is more important to focus on English and improvise upon it. It can be seen that there are more strong points for sticking to a single language which is widely accepted all across the globe. Therefore It is not advisable to add second language in elementary school.

dfordhiraj · **Another AWA - Please give your critique -** 25-06-2005, 06:57 PM

Essay topic 2

Many lives might be saved if inoculations against cow flu were routinely administered to all people in areas in which the disease is detected. However, since there is a small possibility that a person will die as a result of the inoculations, we cannot permit inoculations against cow flu to be routinely administered.

My response.

The writer concludes that as there is a small possibility of a person dying because of inoculations, given to protect against cow flu, so they cannot permit inoculations against cow flu to be administered.However, the conclusion is not persuasive enough, as there are no clear evidence to support the conclusion.

First, there is lack of statisical information regarding how many people die from cow flu and how many people who are inoculated against cow flue who die. The author's assumption would be weakened if the number of people who die from cow flu is very large and there are only small number of people who had been inoculated and they died. If this is the case then it would be better to inoculate people against cow flu as there will be less death due to inoculation compared to deaths due to cow flu.

In addition, the author states that inoculations against cow flu needs to administered regularly. If the inoculation has to be given to every person on a periodic basis, then the chances of the person dying from inoculation increases, which strenghthens the author's conclusion. Further, if the author can provide information regarding people who die after inoculations, whether they were administered inoculation previously or not will help in evaluating the conclusion. It might also be possible that those people were already suffering from cow flu or from other deadly disease. So more data is needed to strenghten the conclusion.

DesiGuru · 25-06-2005, 07:12 PM

After a first read of your A of issue...

1. spelling mistakes... carrier instead of career
2. grammatical errors.
3. maybe too strong a stand. Also i think, though there is no one right stand... The expected answer might need to have... build a strong first language and another language as an addon to build perspective and understand the workings of other cultures. Choosing to say, only have one language... is downright dangerous.

K

Anand_rao · **regarding AWA essays -** 27-06-2005, 05:33 AM

does anyone have an idea as to the length. I was thinking that maybe 200 words approx 3-4 small paras is good. can someone advice?

ketanm · 27-06-2005, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anand_rao

does anyone have an idea as to the length. I was thinking that maybe 200 words approx 3-4 small paras is good. can someone advice?

Anand,

There is no limit on the length except the one put my time limit. If you have good typing speed and thinking ability you can go upto whatever you want. My suggesstion, balance it depending on how fast you can think the contents and how fast you can type.

BTW, a 200 words is a good lenght....

Ketan