Heights of Frustration and Anger

vineetmanghani · 26-03-2005, 03:26 AM

Hi Kiran,

I'm sure reading your post will make many of us re-live some moments of our lives, some happy ones, some sad ones, some frustrating ones, some angry ones. It sure made me.

I gather from your post that you really love this guy, and also that he had to have SOME feelings for you to have helped you and be with you the way he did. The problem is that while you have come to accept your feelings, he has not. He wants to block you out, block his feelings for you out, for whatever reason. Maybe he thinks this is not the time to get involved in something like this. Maybe he puts his career first (which cannot be said about you). Maybe he's scared of the repurcussions of things not working out between the two of you for some reason. Maybe he has issues with commitment and intimacy. There could be any number of reasons, it's up to you to find out what his reasons are.

I know most people will tell you to forget him and stuff, but I know from personal expereince that's easier said than done. You are addicted to him like one gets addicted to cigarettes or drugs. You crave him all the time you're not with him. You experience withdrawal symptoms when you try to distance yourself from him. You suffer from relapse the moment he calls or emails. These three stages are part of the vicious circle of addiction, of love.

I know that finding someone you'd want to spend the rest of your life with is very difficult, and forgetting someone like that downright impossible. So girl, I'd sugest you to not let go of him, not yet. Try to get him to open up to you about this. Try and talk sense into him. Don't give up yet.

Also, you mentioned anything long-term is not possible. You didn't say why. There are obstacles which can be overcome, there are which cannot. Figure out to what extent you can go for him.

So, these are my two cents' worth, and all of it comes from personal experience. Hope it all works out for you.

PS: Is this the same guy you talked about in the other thread??

rajeshnsitian · 26-03-2005, 03:30 AM

chillllllllll..............shit happens....move on.........it wz not meant to be.....the saddest words in life are "it coud have been"....lifes too short to brood over the past.....walk on

cheers
rajesh

vineetmanghani · 26-03-2005, 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unknowntotheworld

jay its not that he is not worth it and stuff...... he actually is a ver very down to earth person and we can u know just make out from our voices over the phone how our mood is and what we have in our mind and stuff like that but this scenario where in i call him and ask him about his health is just going above my head....

See, I know it can be very frustrating caring so much for someone and your love and care not being reciprocated. But then, you don't care for him out of choice do you? You just do. Not caring for him would be even more painful, you know it.

I say keep at it. He's got to see the light someday, give it time, you've invested three years of your life in this relationship, don't let them go waste.

curtz-imi · 26-03-2005, 03:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unknowntotheworld

This is not a plot.......... u want to get my name his name numbers.......... and talk and find out about it u can................... ITS REAL LIFE THAT WE R TALKING about here

hey kiran chill yaar..i think ur late nite office stuff is taking a toll on u...just relax.....this kinda thing happens in life..n its tests ur attitude..ur persevearance...ur belief in the other person to the extreme limit....i'll say when u get ur weekly break..or lemme say needay when u have spare time...close ur eyes...n try to think...where ur life is headed...how important is that person for u.....will u give her another chance....can u face another negative reply....see u have to decide once n for all....n whatever we ppl here say...are just suggesstions that we give after going thru the few lines that u have posted...but u are facing the reality...n its ur decision....so take ur time....n decide wuts the best for ur life....hope to see u smiling again...

keep smiling...

ciao..

unknowntotheworld · 26-03-2005, 03:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curtz-imi

hey kiran chill yaar..i think ur late nite office stuff is taking a toll on u...just relax.....this kinda thing happens in life..n its tests ur attitude..ur persevearance...ur belief in the other person to the extreme limit....i'll say when u get ur weekly break..or lemme say needay when u have spare time...close ur eyes...n try to think...where ur life is headed...how important is that person for u.....will u give her another chance....can u face another negative reply....see u have to decide once n for all....n whatever we ppl here say...are just suggesstions that we give after going thru the few lines that u have posted...but u are facing the reality...n its ur decision....so take ur time....n decide wuts the best for ur life....hope to see u smiling again...

keep smiling...

ciao..

Yaar this is just not a thread for me ..... I really am serious......if u guys give me one good suggestion that really matches up to my situation here......... i really will do that.........

vineetmanghani · 26-03-2005, 03:59 AM

Well, must say this thread is attracting some eyeballs. Out of 9 members online at this moment, 5 are viewing this thread!!!!

Anyways, Kiran, I think Saikat is right, it's you who has to make the decision looking at the whole situation from the bird's eye view.

As for suggestions, I know there will be many, just check this thread tomorrow, it'll be overflowing with responses. Maybe you'll find something worthwhile there.....

unknowntotheworld · 26-03-2005, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tp

i know that but was wondering as to how all these thgs can happen inspite of 2 people knowin each other well. perhaps as they say sometimes even time cant b a criteria for relationships

I just now had a chat with TP.....
this is what he told me.....

but i thk it will coz in tis time u need to bcome emotionally stronger

but ull have to bcome stronger if not for ur sake then for his sake

well there r somthgs not said but understood i thk hes dropping hints to u its upto u to decipher them and create a situationwere he comes to u by his own choice
TP Pagalguy: now u r in a position to remove his doubts and im sure u can do it
TP Pagalguy: just keep on takin to him bit by bit dun get too excited show ur calm always and in meanwile create better conditions for him at ur place
TP Pagalguy: hope u got wat i wanted to say

TP Pagalguy: ive been thr it but want u to come out successfully
TP Pagalguy: u ll dun worry u just show him tat u can do it and just do wat he wishes but cant reveal it to u hell b surprised and tat will b d day for u

sandman_sd · 26-03-2005, 06:55 AM

I am gonna get blasted by everyone for this post( But i am an idiot so had to ask).I can see the depth of your feelings (U even choose the company for him).But i wonder does he look at u the same way(I know being unfair but....).I cannot pass judgements on anyone(I have no right to).But when someone did so much for u before and then changed all of a sudden it makes me wonder as to y he probabaly changed.
My opinion is to give him his space(This can be discarded with the utmost disdain).A frind once told me"The more u try to squeeze sand,the more it will escape.SO LOOSEN THE GRIP".Hope this helps.

P.S. This is from my personal experience and may not be applicable to anyone else.

snobby · **hey..chill -** 26-03-2005, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unknowntotheworld

honey i know him for the past 3 yrs pal.... everyday every min.....

just try it..
dont call...dont take any calls
dont mail...dont reply to any mails

not for long ..but try it
let the other have a chance to miss u
and meanwhile chillout ..work hard ....party harder..catch up with old friends

after that time ...introspect
did u really miss him that much & how much did he miss u ???

u will be in a better position to decide

its a lil tough ...but u shd try this

mean while
chillout

jaymehta · 26-03-2005, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unknowntotheworld

jay its not that he is not worth it and stuff...... he actually is a ver very down to earth person and we can u know just make out from our voices over the phone how our mood is and what we have in our mind and stuff like that but this scenario where in i call him and ask him about his health is just going above my head....

there can be two interpretations .... one he doesnt want u to start building hopes again.. so he not takin yr calls (if he is tht good a person as u mention him to be)

and u should also realise tht some things are jus not meant to happen..... as some 1 said earlier... give him space and make him miss u.... than he will realise wat he actually feels for u..... its like dat phrase.... if he is yrs he will come back... if not.. he was nvr yrs.... sounds philosphical.... but is true.....

i wasted 2 yrs of my life after a brk up... waitin waitin... she nvr came back... but i finally got ovr it...thr is whr i say time is the best healer.... learn from ym expereince.. dont u waste yr life.... move on.. atleast try.... meet other ppl... try avoidin him conciously!!!

thts all i can tell u!

cheerS

Jay