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Posts: 386
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Delhi
Age: 26
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Re: Who are India's youth icons ? -
30-04-2004, 09:18 PM
Murthy made it very clear that it would either be me
or him working at Infosys. Never the two of us
together. He did not want a husband and wife team at
Infosys. I was shocked since I had the relevant
experience and technical qualifications. He said,
Sudha if you want to work with Infosys, I will
withdraw, happily I was pained to know that I would
not be involved in the company my husband was building
and that I would have to give up a job that I was
qualified to do and loved doing... Then, I realised
that to make Infosys a success, one had to give 100
per cent. One had to be focused on it alone, with no
other distractions. If the two of us had to give 100
per cent to Infosys, what would happen to our home and
our children? I opted to be a homemaker; after all,
Infosys was Murthy's dream. It was a big sacrifice,
but it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murthy
says, Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine.
You are responsible for my success.
I might have given up my career for my husband's sake,
but that does not make me a doormat... Isn't freedom
about living your life the way you want it? What is
right for one person might be wrong for another. It is
up to the individual to make a choice that is
effective in her life. I believe that when a woman
gives up her right to choose for herself, that is when
she crosses over from being an individual to a
doormat.
Murthy's dreams encompassed not only himself, but a
generation of people. It was about creating something
worthy, exemplary and honourable. It was about
creation and distribution of wealth. His dreams were
grander than my career plans, in all aspects. So, when
I had to choose between Murthy's career and mine, I
opted for what I thought was the right choice. We had
a home and two little children. Somebody had to take
care of it all. Somebody had to stay behind to create
a home base that would be fertile for healthy growth,
happiness, and more dreams to dream. I became that
somebody willingly I can confidently say that if I had
had a dream like Infosys, Murthy would have given me
his unstinted support. The roles would have been
reversed. We are not bound by the archaic rules of
marriage. He does not intrude into my time, especially
when I am writing my novels. He does not interfere in
my work at the Infosys Foundation and I don't
interfere with the running of Infosys. I teach
computer science to MBA and MCA students at Christ
College for a few hours every week and I earn around
Rs 50,000 a year. I value this financial independence
greatly, though there is no need for me to pursue a
career. Murthy respects that. I travel the world
without him, because he hates travelling. We trust
each other implicitly. We have another understanding
too. While he earns the money, I spend it mostly
through charity. The Infosys Foundation was born in
1997 with the sole objective of uplifting the
less-privileged sections of society. In the past three
years, we have built hospitals, orphanages,
rehabilitation centres, school buildings, science
centres and more than 3,500 libraries. Our work is
mainly in the rural areas amongst women and children.
I am one of the trustees of the Foundation, and our
activities span six states. I travel to around 800
villages constantly. Every year, we donate around Rs
5-6 crores. We run Infosys Foundation the way Murthy
runs Infosys - in a professional and scientific way.
Philanthropy is a profession and an art. It can be
used or misused. Every year, we receive more than
10,000 applications for donations. Every day, I
receive more than 120 calls. Amongst these, there are
those who genuinely need help and there are
hoodwinkers too. Over the years, I have learnt to
differentiate the wheat from the chaff, though I still
give all the cases a patient hearing. Sometimes, I
feel I have lost the ability to trust people. I have
become shrewder to avoid being conned. I think that is
the price that I have to pay for the position I am in
now. The greatest difficulty in having money is to
teach your children its value... Bringing up children
in a moneyed atmosphere is a difficult task. Even
today, I think twice if I have to spend Rs 10 on an
auto when I can walk to my house. I cannot expect my
children to do the same. They have seen money from the
time they were born. But we can lead by example. When
they see Murthy wash his own plate after eating and
clean the two toilets in the house every day, they
realise that no work is demeaning, irrespective of how
rich you are. This doesn't mean we expect our children
to live an austere life. My children buy what they
want, go where they want, but they have to follow
certain rules. They have to show me bills for whatever
they buy: My daughter can buy five new outfits, but
she has to give away five old ones. My son can go out
with his friends for lunch or dinner, but we
discourage him from going to a five star hotel. Or we
accompany him. My children haven't given me any
heartbreak. My daughter is studying abroad, my son in
Bangalore. They don t use their father's name in vain.
They only say that his name is Murthy and that he
works for Infosys. They don't want to be recognised
and appreciated because of their father or me, but for
themselves.
I don't feel guilty about having money, for we have
worked hard for it. But I don't feel comfortable
flaunting it. It is a conscious decision on our part
to live a simple, so-called middle class life. We live
in the same two-bedroom, sparsely furnished house we
lived in before Infosys became a success. Our only
extravagance is buying books and CDs. My house has no
lockers for I have no jewels. I wear a pair of stone
earrings which I bought in Bombay for Rs 100. I don, t
even wear my `mangalsutra` unless I need to attend
some family functions or when I am with my
mother-in-law. Five years ago, I went to Kashi, where
tradition demands that you give something up. I gave
up shopping. Since then, I haveri t bought myself a
sari or gone shopping. I don't carry a purse and
neither does Murthy, most of the time. I borrow money
from my secretary or my driver if I need cash. They
know my habit, so they always carry extra cash with
them. But I settle the accounts every evening. Murthy
and I are very comfortable with our lifestyle and we
don't see the need to change it now that we have
money:
Murthy and I are two opposites that complement each
other. Murthy is sensitive and romantic in his own
way. He always gifts me books addressed 'From Me to
You. Or'To the person I most admire, etc. We both love
books. I am an extrovert and he is an introvert. I
love watching movies and listening to classical music.
Murthy loves listening to English classical music. I
go out for movies with my students and secretary every
other week. I am still young at heart. I really
enjoyed watching'Kaho Na Pyaar Hai'; I am a Hrithik
Roshan fan. It has been more than 20 years since
Murthy and I went for a movie. My daughter once gave
us a surprise by booking tickets for'Titanic'. Since I
had a prior engagement that day, Murthy went for the
movie with his secretary Pandu. I love travelling,
whereas Murthy loves spending time at home. Friends
come and go with the share prices. Even in my dreams,
I did not expect Infosys to grow the way it has. After
Infosys went public in 1993, we became what people
would call rich, moneyed people. Suddenly, you see and
hear about so much money: People talk about you. It
was all new to me.
Have I lost my identity as a woman, in Murthy's
shadow? No, I might be Mrs Narayana Murthy. I might be
Akshata and Rohan's mother. I might be the trustee of
Infosys Foundation. But I am still Sudha. Like all
women, I play different roles. That doesn't mean we
don't have our own identity. Women have that extra
quality of adaptability and learn to fit into
different shoes. But we are our own selves still. And
we have to exact our freedom by making the right
choices in our lives, dictated by us and not by the
world.
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