[josh_iit]

Originally Posted by Ayesha

Not only him....all of us are.Who knows,u might get some followers here!

gee..... thanks for showing interest mez.

i thot it wud be apt to strt a different thread as it is an altogether different issue.

b4 i throw some light on this, i beg of u to understand tht all tht follows is personal opinion n open to criticism. also, the uninitiated, pls read the "...successful" thread tht was posted previously.

mmm.... it gives me dejavu feelings whn i think of this topic.jus the other nite i was tryin to explain to a friend of mine, this hypothesis tht i believe will be effective in days to come, n we stopped jus short of physical abuse. discussions on campus, with no authoritative moderators, more often than not end this way :(

my funda is this:

every aspect of life is evanesent n ephemeral. so is luv. also, time and again, familiarity has bred contempt. so, to expect someone to share luv, thots n feelings with u for eternity, is preposterous n nothing short of foolishness.

man has, as is evident , always craved for change in life,to an extent, in one sense, tht it has come to stay as the purpose behind his very existence. so, how is it fair to expect of urself to stick to someone in life forever? wont things change?talkin with a marriage perspective, will it be luv n affection n nothin elase, between a spouse and the partner all along?

i personally feel tht at some point in life, there arises an instance, gradually built tho', where the couple continue to co-exist, not bcoz they share luv n affection, but bcoz they are in a legal obligation to stay put this way. nobody is happy, but life rolls on. if this be the case, i questioned myself. why at all marry? cant it be as simple as this? u fall in luv, u have ur share of thngs n when u mutually decide tht the critical point of existence has reached, jus say " tata, bye-bye, no hard feelings, u take ur path, i follow mine, but we stay in tuch."

i feel life led this way will be a lot less complicated. every person u encounter, u accost, is jus another chapter in the buk called life. u move ahead, coverin a page per stride, n finish the buk.

parent-child interaction, another facet of the same issue, has much in common with the spouse-partner case, only here, it ought to be dealt a shade differently.again, no win-win situation exists here. if u wanna luv ur parents forever, respect them n care for them, donot ever stay with them for ever. this way, u feel once in a while, destiny will take care of this time interval, tht something is amiss in life, ur parents, ur siblings, n u realise things. u meet,but u ought to part n the cycle must continue. all this is 'coz its human nature to take things for granted, sick nature this is.this i have learnt the hard way, in my four year stay, away from home.

any takers for my funda?

[shub001]

u fall in luv, u have ur share of thngs n when u mutually decide tht the critical point of existence has reached, jus say " tata, bye-bye, no hard feelings, u take ur path, i follow mine, but we stay in tuch."

hmm..I dont wanna committ anything about whether I want to remain bachelor or not for the rest of my life..but I have often thought about if this kind of life is possible or not,the kind that I have quoted......and you know what the problem is.....after some time all the girls you know would be married Tab kya karega yaar??? Coz all your colleagues would be married all the girls who would be younger than you would be interested in younger guys moreover all the younger gals would want a marriage committment from you (this problem is more pronounced in indian girls) Tab aap kya karenge sir

[Jackal]

hey man u wont find many takers 4 this funda on this board but ........... sure man u'v said it all..
after lots of ups & downs in life i'v come 2 the same conclusion.. and u'v put it in words perfectly.. even the parent child relation bit u put is perfect...
i second u on this funda...

[Zarine]

Warning:- Keep u r disprins handy.u may need them after u finish (if u manage to do tht ) reading this post!

[quote="josh_iit"]my funda is this:

every aspect of life is evanesent n ephemeral. so is luv. also, time and again, familiarity has bred contempt. so, to expect someone to share luv, thots n feelings with u for eternity, is preposterous n nothing short of foolishness.

Every thing maybe evanesent n ephemeral,but the best thing abt life is tht it goes on.I feel, u r whole approach to this issue is tinted with some negative feelings,have a balanced approach.Mebbe nobody will share luv,thots n feelings with u r for eternity,but as u said,nothing lasts forever.Enjoy things while they last.The company,the times.It'll all be worth it.N u don't "expect" tht someone to share it with u,it comes naturally when u love someone.It's not a duty to which u feel chained to after sometime.

man has, as is evident , always craved for change in life,to an extent, in one sense, tht it has come to stay as the purpose behind his very existence. so, how is it fair to expect of urself to stick to someone in life forever? wont things change?talkin with a marriage perspective, will it be luv n affection n nothin elase, between a spouse and the partner all along?

Tht,my dear friend,is entirely u r call.If u wish to,u will.The driving factor been,after some time in life,everyone feels the need of a stable life.Something to fall back,somebody to earn for,somebody to go back home to.
After marriage,between 2 ppl,luv n affection does count....but wat counts more is the compatibility n maturity in handling the relation.
From wat I make out,u r someone who needs a lotta space in relations,u dont like been tied down.So find someone who respects jus tat.

i personally feel tht at some point in life, there arises an instance, gradually built tho', where the couple continue to co-exist, not bcoz they share luv n affection, but bcoz they are in a legal obligation to stay put this way. nobody is happy, but life rolls on. if this be the case, i questioned myself. why at all marry? cant it be as simple as this? u fall in luv, u have ur share of thngs n when u mutually decide tht the critical point of existence has reached, jus say " tata, bye-bye, no hard feelings, u take ur path, i follow mine, but we stay in tuch."

The biggest mistake anyone can make is generalising things in life.
U stick to a job,coz of some obligation.But trust me,in a marriage,if it goes beyond the ctrl of either parties,it's time to call it a day.Nobody "puts up" anylonger.
And pardon my asking u this,but as u said,u fall in love n then after a point move on.Is tht how impersonally u handle everything in life?Fallin in love isn't abt havin u r share n movin on,but wantin to give as much as possible n staying around for tht person.
Feel free to clear the air abt ur conception of love.

parent-child interaction, another facet of the same issue, has much in common with the spouse-partner case, only here, it ought to be dealt a shade differently.again, no win-win situation exists here. if u wanna luv ur parents forever, respect them n care for them, donot ever stay with them for ever. this way, u feel once in a while, destiny will take care of this time interval, tht something is amiss in life, ur parents, ur siblings, n u realise things. u meet,but u ought to part n the cycle must continue. all this is 'coz its human nature to take things for granted, sick nature this is.this i have learnt the hard way, in my four year stay, away from home.

Imagine u r parents thinkin on the same lines abt u when u were a kid.To dump u in a hostel,n check u out once in a while,so tht u r 'value' in their lives remains the same.
They slog it out,n at the end of the day,when it's payback time,u shld b there,holdin their hands.Even after growin up,if u dont realise their value in u r life,wat chance u will when u visit them in the destiny's decided time interval.Here u r lookin at them as if they were some kinda obligation on u.
It's sad tht ppl realise the worth of something,after it's gone.I repeat again,enjoy things while they last.After which u jus can't help it!

And don't go by the notion tht everybody demands attention all the time n givin tht is a herculaen task.Nobody cares,frankly.But nothing gets ignored.Every smile u give to someone,shall come back one day.

And stop looking at things as an inv. banker.There isn't a ROI attached to everything in life.Somethings u jus do,coz they need to b done.And coz somebody rightfully deserves it.

any takers for my funda?

Nopes not me ,mate

[Jackal]

hey ayesha u might not b wrong but v r frm diff times frm our parents.. they dont understand us as well as we understand'em.. but we cant think like'em the 1st thing in a relation is compatibility.. and if it is not there the only thing which can b done is seperate.. whtever relation it might be... u might still love the person but if it is better 2 seperate.. u shud..
cuz it is 4 the good of both ..
am i wrong?

[raj.]

No matter whatever times we r from, if we cant be compatible with our parents then we cant be compatible with anyone in life...and then people talking about loving someone and marrying them...take a break man.

I agree with ayesha mostly but I guess we got to be with our parents not only when there is some PAYBACK TIME but always, as much as we can....bcos I dont believe in anything like ROI , payback.

There is no reason for doing anything for our parents and same ways they dont need any reason for doing watever they do for us. Its just has to be done..its love for each other.

[dharamjeet prasad]

too comlex issue for me to say anything yaar.. :(

actually i have never been in love anytime in my life otherwise i would have replied to this one...

but i know whenever i fell in love i will never go against my parents at any cost.......

[josh_iit]

Originally Posted by Ayesha

Nopes not me ,mate

hummm.. as i said, they are n will remain as my personal opinions n my question was jus a rhetoric. everything said n done, i stick to it as much as u do to ur perceptions of luv, life n such things as these.

clap....clap...
whatever the differences might be, no luv lost in applaudin the clarity of thot tht u possess. nice response tht was frm u mez.

[Zarine]

Originally Posted by dharamjeet prasad

too comlex issue for me to say anything yaar.. :(

actually i have never been in love anytime in my life otherwise i would have replied to this one...

As Subbu once mentioned,u dont have to commit every sin to know its repercussions.
Jus know u r mind n u r priorities....tht's wat is the driving factor is decidin how u react to things..

Lol.....Plz...dont come to the conclusion tht I went thru' all tht i said in my post.But i know my myself.Hence,I know how i'll handle stuff.

Ok,Dharampaaji?

[Zarine]

Originally Posted by josh_iit

hummm.. as i said, they are n will remain as my personal opinions n my question was jus a rhetoric. everything said n done, i stick to it as much as u do to ur perceptions of luv, life n such things as these.

yepes,each to itw own.Tht's wat makes this world so intresting.And weird!

clap....clap...
whatever the differences might be, no luv lost in applaudin the clarity of thot tht u possess. nice response tht was frm u mez.

clap..clap....
Irresp of the thinkin patterns,thanks for dedicatin a thread to me!