[mumbai_dude]

I'm a project lead in current job. I directly report to my project manager. Now that he is moving to another department altogether, another female is tipped to be next project manager. She is my ex-team mate and I have strong inclination towards her.

She also likes me and I want to ask her out for a date. But if she becomes my PM, there would be conflict of interest. What should I do?

[D e e p t i]

man!!

What is strong inclination? If it is just to get a date and spend some good time - not worth the risk - all the more if you intend to work in that organization for sometime.

If you are looking for a long term relationship, there are three aspects you need to give some thought

1. What are the chances you might want to do it with this female? Given
- you will be reporting to her,
- she will be earning more than you,
This is o'course in addition to your list of requirements - compatibility, blah, blah, blah.

2. What are the chances she might be looking for a long term reln with you? From the little I know abt women - very few would want to get into a long term reln with a guy who is not at par with her if not better - careerwise, pay wise, etc. But yeah - some women have the courage and willingness to take a different stance if required.

3. If both of the above work in favour of the reln, you guyz will surely have probs - working in the same team. Most probably one of you will have to change the team or the company - is it possible? Are you guyz ready to do that?

The point in proactive thinking here is - the stakes are high. You have a lot to loose if you act without this excercise - I'm sure you realize that.

[skbuff]

I feel there is no wrong in asking for date to manager or who were it might be.

But long term relations, I again I repeat what Deepti had said thats all depends upon your perception.

And again yes you have to always play safe..

[rajgopal_iq]

Dude....always remember there is a very thin line between emotional self and the actual self...if there is some slipping in here and there then remember ..."LIFE WILL GET SCREWED.
"

[catapult]

If by serious inclinations..u mean just a fling or a one-nite stand...then go ahead...u'll enjoy it...u may earn brownie points for ur next appraisal as well...provided she reciprocates ur 'Strong' feelings to some extent atleast....
If u are looking for a long term relationship....Forget it...its not gonna work out as Deepti put it...
Cheers!

[gaurav200x]

Originally Posted by mumbai_dude

I'm a project lead in current job. I directly report to my project manager. Now that he is moving to another department altogether, another female is tipped to be next project manager. She is my ex-team mate and I have strong inclination towards her.

She also likes me and I want to ask her out for a date. But if she becomes my PM, there would be conflict of interest. What should I do?

well i agree with deepti.... casual friendship and hanging out with her is fine... Being serious is another.

Always remember that u r in a corporate environment and gals today look for their career before men. So, its better u limit ur feelings and see how she takes ur company. In the long term, if she is equally inclined and if there is no work-ego, then go for it, or else focus on ur career only.

[aspire]

Originally Posted by D e e p t i

man!!

What is strong inclination? If it is just to get a date and spend some good time - not worth the risk - all the more if you intend to work in that organization for sometime.

If you are looking for a long term relationship, there are three aspects you need to give some thought

1. What are the chances you might want to do it with this female? Given
- you will be reporting to her,
- she will be earning more than you,
This is o'course in addition to your list of requirements - compatibility, blah, blah, blah.

2. What are the chances she might be looking for a long term reln with you? From the little I know abt women - very few would want to get into a long term reln with a guy who is not at par with her if not better - careerwise, pay wise, etc. But yeah - some women have the courage and willingness to take a different stance if required.

3. If both of the above work in favour of the reln, you guyz will surely have probs - working in the same team. Most probably one of you will have to change the team or the company - is it possible? Are you guyz ready to do that?

The point in proactive thinking here is - the stakes are high. You have a lot to loose if you act without this excercise - I'm sure you realize that.

I have only one thing to add to this superb post by deepti ..

What if You start dating her and then things sour , will you be able to keep a working relationship with her , This is one of the perils of an office romance .. It makes life really difficult if you two part ways.. keep this factor in account as well

regards

shailesh

[Uptowngal]

Aaah!This happened to me once...the CEO of the company which I had joined had as you call it'a strong inclination' towards me(I wish he never did )...At the end of the day since I did'nt reciprocate his feelings,not only did I have to resign but also I never got my salary:neutral:....Based on my experience I would say it messes up both work and ur personal life...I still miss those green notes:neutral:

[aspire]

Originally Posted by Uptowngal

Aaah!This happened to me once...the CEO of the company which I had joined had as you call it'a strong inclination' towards me(I wish he never did )...At the end of the day since I did'nt reciprocate his feelings,not only did I have to resign but also I never got my salary:neutral:....Based on my experience I would say it messes up both work and ur personal life...I still miss those green notes:neutral:

Didnt get ur green notes .. how could you let go .. you should have taken some legal recourse and got even with the fellow....

Office is a very convenient place to find a date , but if things dont work , there are high chances one finds that (s)he has to leave the office .. so make your choice after due deliberation:sleepy:

regards

shailesh

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