[sonika]

Originally Posted by aspire

I think we sometimes rather mostly act as ostriches, we dig our head into the ground , and assume that there is no such trouble going on .......

I agree with a person there , who said that I if one isnt a virgin , one shouldnt also expect a virgin ...
but it really depends on the individual , who would be able to accept a non virgin partner , when the individual is a virgin ....

also should one talk abt this virginity issue before marriage , if the other person has very strong views on the subject , then isnt it better to let the other person know ur status , if I may say so .....

Or one should not share everything abt the past ... I personally would like to come clear of my past , before going for this ..

regards

How does it matter if the person you are marryin is a virgin or not? If you both like each other, respect each other.. Shouldn't this be enough that this person is agreein to spend all his/her life with you..

About discussin, i would prefer complete honesty too.. After all life ka mamla hai

[saphira]

dude the reason this is not turning out to be a heated debate.... is that everyone here seem to be liberal and dont consider virginity an issue anymore

anyways i think this should have been put in the Online GD thread

[shrikanthk]

There was an interesting debate on a related topic in the 'Becker Posner Blog'
last year.
Posting the link -
Posner's take
Becker's take

Btw, moral relativism notwithstanding, we haven't discussed the implications that pre-marital sex will have on the institution of marriage. That should definitely be a cause for concern.
I personally feel that the scepticism of the conservatives the world over towards pre-marital sex is justified. But, that ofcourse doesn't mean that you beat up someone who doesn't subscribe to a conservative viewpoint.

What I liked about Posner's analysis was his attempt to determine the underlying cause of premarital sexual behavior.
Over the last century or so, the costs of marriage to a woman have gone up considerably, while on the other hand the benefits have plummeted. As a result, the average marital age has gone up and so has the demand for sex outside wedlock. Hence, the reasons for PMS, are economic rather than cultural.
Coming back to the desirability of pre-marital sex, one must again resort to a cost-benefit analysis.
The costs are numerous - erosion of marriage as an institution, erosion of the idea of 'family', drastic changes in the patterns of child-upbringing, consequent damage to the child psyche et al.

On the benefits side , one can readily think of the satisfaction of carnal urges. Can't think of any other benefit.

Owing to the stark mismatch between the costs and benefits, one can safely conclude that PMS isn't desirable for society. Yet, as Posner rightly pointed out, there is a sense of inevitability around it as it appears to be a natural consequence of economic growth.

[srikrishnan]

Originally Posted by shrikanthk

There was an interesting debate on a related topic in the 'Becker Posner Blog'
last year.
Posting the link -
Posner's take
Becker's take

Btw, moral relativism notwithstanding, we haven't discussed the implications that pre-marital sex will have on the institution of marriage. That should definitely be a cause for concern.
I personally feel that the scepticism of the conservatives the world over towards pre-marital sex is justified. But, that ofcourse doesn't mean that you beat up someone who doesn't subscribe to a conservative viewpoint.

What I liked about Posner's analysis was his attempt to determine the underlying cause of premarital sexual behavior.
Over the last century or so, the costs of marriage to a woman have gone up considerably, while on the other hand the benefits have plummeted. As a result, the average marital age has gone up and so has the demand for sex outside wedlock. Hence, the reasons for PMS, are economic rather than cultural.
Coming back to the desirability of pre-marital sex, one must again resort to a cost-benefit analysis.
The costs are numerous - erosion of marriage as an institution, erosion of the idea of 'family', drastic changes in the patterns of child-upbringing, consequent damage to the child psyche et al.

One the benefits side , one can readily think of the satisfaction of carnal urges. Can't think of any other benefit.

Owing to the stark mismatch between the costs and benefits, one can safely conclude that PMS isn't desirable for society. Yet, as Posner rightly pointed out, there is a sense of inevitability around it as it appears to be a natural consequence of economic growth.

perfectly said... rightly summed up... thats precisely the point..

[eminem_50 cent]

I am not a feminist ..in the first place! I always think Men and Women are equal.
While I was reading the posts by guys, I feel tht boys have changed in the long run.
At this point, I must tell about a friend of mine. Hes from kearla and a high cosmopolitan young man with his family in USA. He was alone in India…. a very care free sort. He was going steadily with a girl..but they both soon found out tht their relation wont really work Out..so.. just for fun sake they were together. Guess his plan??…after his engg…he planned to get a job in a firm and get his girl too in the same firm.. have a good physical intercourse and planned to marry some other gal in late 20’s. And u knw his expectaion abt the life partner. A STRICT VIRGIN AND NEVER TOUCHED AND KISSED. But he s a sort of womanizer and enjoys having many girl friends…And ya..I accept there might be similar girls like my above said friendtoo…

Ok.. It’s the individual view about what to expect…I wnt be a virgin during marriage and I dnt expect the same from my hubby too.. Even I wont mind if he sleeps with other gals after marriage… I am not possessive and not of the begging type to ask my husband to think YOU R THE ONLY BEAUTIFUL GAL IN THE PLANET! I will appreciate a friendly relation……Coz., I feel gals must be very broad minded and accept men as they are.. of course there are some exceptions when we must question them..like too much smoke and boozing tht spoils health and losing money in stupid investments and other stuffs.. At the same time.. how would one gauge a wife’s trueness towards her husband…gals and guys…Trueness is sharing everything and let ur life be an open book..Me???? I am like Jennifer lopez… I would be honest to my CURRENT/PRESENT husband…I am career minded and would seldom find time for extra marital affairs!

There s another point to discuss this. Wht if ur in love? Very seriously bonded and worship your lover… u would worship their body too…you might not feel to have s** with another person.. because the intensity of love stands there.. when the pure lovers have …. It’s the love behind it and not lust.

So…. My personal view is if u have an idea of expecting a virgin would-be…it SU**S.
I would bring up my kid (either sex)…with a very broad mind ..i wnt restrict the child in such things and I would guide them to be careful….At the same time, needless to say.. beware of STDs and infections that might affect the marital life. I conclude now.. ITS YOUR LIFE…CHOOSE UR PARTNER OF UR WAVELENGTH… THAT’S IT… OF COURSE ..PLZ DNT BE CONSERVATIVE….


THANK GOD ..THIS S A FORUM….
We are open to talk any thing tht strikes the mind!

Eminem lovers …get ur collection of his songs from
http://www.mp3-center.org/download_mp3 FREE

[saphira]

seriously ..... eminem_50cent are you for real????????????

and if you are will you marry me?

[eminem_50 cent]

Hahahahahahahahahah!!!!

[saphira]

hey i wasnt kidding... i was damn serious

[Pokhi_Fokhi]

There is nothing wrong in freedom of speech and premarital sex.
But like every good speaker you must word your thoughts depending on the audience..
We are not talking of modern society of mumbai or delhi..
we talking about chennai..if you go there you will find that people still follow their culture religiously..
There is nothing wrong in paying your taxes. Similarly there is nothing wrong in premarital sex. Paying taxes is mandatory but not premarital sex.
You don't give full page ads that premarital sex is not bad.

[Pokhi_Fokhi]

Originally Posted by saphira

hey i wasnt kidding... i was damn serious

Eminem! you have got a proposal on hand!