Football Club

[fire_kris]

This was a joke posted by me on PJ Corner, ENJOI:

True Fact: Osama Bin Laden family contruction company is planning to buy Newcastle United FC of English Premier League. If that happens what will happen next:

1. Newcastle United Trophy Cabinet will become the "Perfect Hideout" as they win nothing, so totally barren.

2. Nicky Butt will be renamed " NICKY BIN BUTT LADEN"

3. Joey Barton will be made the team captain, reason because " HE SELF DESTRUCTS".

4. Also then Newcastle live matches will only be telecasted by Al-Jazeera not Sky Sports...

Ciao..
Kris

[polpot]

Branislav Ivanovic has told Phil Scolari: I’m better than Ricardo Carvalho | The Sun |HomePage|Sport|Football

Ivanovic hits out at Chelsea Football Club.
If someones memory is failing them, United wanted Ivanovic in Jan as a cover for Evra until mighty Chelsea stepped in and paid 9 Mill(its pounds, not even Dollars)... Yes, 9 mill for him.... 6 months and 0 minutes playing time later, he is off to Juve...
Don't really care for the player but he has a point as far his transfer goes.

[rockball]

Originally Posted by polpot

Branislav Ivanovic has told Phil Scolari: I’m better than Ricardo Carvalho | The Sun |HomePage|Sport|Football

Ivanovic hits out at Chelsea Football Club.
If someones memory is failing them, United wanted Ivanovic in Jan as a cover for Evra until mighty Chelsea stepped in and paid 9 Mill(its pounds, not even Dollars)... Yes, 9 mill for him.... 6 months and 0 minutes playing time later, he is off to Juve...
Don't really care for the player but he has a point as far his transfer goes.

Yes, his move to Juve is in progress. Not done yet. They were after him in Jan as well. He is quite a good defender. Of course you don't get chances with Carvalho and Terry in front.

Juve really should sign him and get their transfer season on track. They have been linked to a few players but not made any decent signings yet. Midfield is where they are lacking and all prospective targets Alonso, Stankovic, VDV don't seem like happening. Their notable signing so far has been Amauri.
Juve have a lot of fantastic youngsters but the management for some reason is not considering them for the team. Giovinco for one should surely be there. He is a fantastic little player out on loan now. Palladino, Lanzafame are good too but seem like going out now maybe on loan or co-ownership.

[anvesh23]

hey guys , sorry for posting after such a long period ...

will try and be more regular once i get my new laptop - hopefully in a week's time ...

me and varun are doing fine at TISS and we saw the euro games together

both of us were elated when spain won

i read abt ac milan and adebayor but i don't think he will leave arsenal ..

more later .. ciao

[fire_kris]

I read this piece at Manutd forums from EighteenFive (which is liverpool supporter forum), absolutely hilarious (all liverpool fans will agree to it as well)..

I always think whether it be red devil forum, etc. for other clubs forum... PG footbal thread is the most sanest place to be.

10 Reasons why Liverpool will win the league next season.


1. We are not that far off.

If you were a betting man and a statistics enthusiasts you’d excited after studying Liverpools last few league campaigns. Ask any statistician and they will tell you that trends are everything in their line of work. In 2004/2005, Benitez’s first season Liverpool finished 37 points behind the winners. Since then we’ve closed the gap and in the season just gone we finished just 11 points behind. Not that far off considering if we beat Man United home and away, which would have happened if it weren’t for incompetent refereeing we would have won the league. We are not that far off.

2. The manager.

Rafa’s done it; he knows how to win the league now. This season we’ve seen a dramatic change in tactics seeing us beat teams by six or more goals. We were also in the league right up until April, when United managed to jammy a win over us. Rafa has also got the balance right in his rotation policy. Problems off the field caused us to lose concentration at a critical time.

3. The prospect of getting some DIC.

There’s no doubt that if we went with DIC over the yank cunts we would be chasing a treble right about now. Once we become par with United and Chelsea in terms of spending god help the rest of the league and the rest of Europe. A sleeping giant is about to rise. With a bit of DIC, that will happen next season.

4. El Nino.

For those of you that aren’t aware, Torres has scored the most goals by a foreigner in his first season. Yep, you heard right. More than Van Nistelrooy, Henry and Ronaldo. Considering it usually take foreigners 12-14 months to adapt, the prospect of what Torres will become is simply mouth watering. For me he’s far and away TBPITW. He has more to his game than Ronaldo, who is so vastly overrated it’s not funny. You would expect Torres to get somewhere in the range of 40-50 goals next season. Premiership defenders just aren’t accomplished enough to deal with him.

5. Our Midfield.

Everyone’s heard the song and a few other teams imitate it, but there’s no doubt who actually has the best midfield is the world. With Alonso and Macherano opposition teams just have simply no chance of playing through us. With Lucas, we probably have the most exciting young midfield prospect in the world. With Gerrard driving power in front, we simply have the midfield that is the envy of all Europe.

6. Skrtel and Agger.

With these two leading from that back next season expect us to concede few goals, especially in the league, where I’d be surprised if we conceded more than 12. Not only are they accomplished defenders but they can also use the ball as good as any midfielder. With Carragher possibly going to right back we will have the most penetrable wall since Berlin fell. Even the Chinese would be proud of such a wall.

7. The new signings.

All in all we have a great spine. If we went to see a chiropractor, he’d have quick feel and take some photos for his textbook so he could show clients what the perfect posture and spine looks like. Therefore, we just need a couple of players to play ancillary roles along with one or two major signings. We can only speculate at the moment. But you know there’s going to be big names. I would expect someone to partner Torres and I imagine Rafa pulling of the coup of the season for this position. Imagine the damage that Kaka from Milan or Benzemia from Lyon could inflict on the premiership. If I were a manc or a bitter, I’d be shitting myself right now with the though that we could possible sign those type of players.


8. The opposition.

On paper the mancs look favourite for next season, but consider this: Only very rarely to teams win three league titles in a row. Have a look through the history books if you like. I’ve done the maths and the mancs only have about a 1 in 15 chance of winning it next season. Arsenal and Chelsea will be going though rebuilding phases. Half the Arsenal team are already off and Chelsea have already lost Drogba and Ambrovich has promised a cleanse. Now is the perfect time for us to take advantage of this and win ourselves a league title the same way Chelsea took advantage of Arsenal and United rebuilding to win there first Premier League crown.

9. The supporters.

Do I need say more? We get ourselves in position to win the league come late April or May next season and the supporters will do the rest. Could you imagine the Kop with us closing in on the league title? Best supporters in Europe.

10. The status-quo

I see a lot of supporters worrying about United overtaking our league title haul. You can only laugh at these fools. Liverpool have been the top dog in England for pretty much ever and it’s not about to change anytime soon. It’s squeaky bum time, as Fergie calls it, for the mancs right now. They know we are on the verge of getting our act together and they know that as soon as we get that first one the floodgates will open. They know they will never have a better chance to go level with us and you’ll see the nervousness creep in. “Knock us off our perch” yeaaaahh right. Check back in a few years and it will be 25 - 17.

[fire_kris]

Another one from eighteen five

The KUYT part is absolutely brilliant? Best defensive Striker (Sumit bhai u can also have a laugh at XL)

EURO 2008: Reds Review


In today’s feature article I take a look at the performance of our very own Reds during the recent European Championships. Its been a cracking tournament and a great showcase for our Scouseglactico's. Spain’s victory was a triumph for LFC and something all Scousers can be proud of. Thanks to Rafa's talent spotting prowess we now have 5 European Champions in our ranks and they will definitely help instil a winning mentality amongst the other players. Consequently it looks like the season to come will be one of the most successful in Liverpool Football Club's great history.


Dirk Kuyt-

Arguably the best defensive striker in the world and heart-beat of the Dutch national team. Just like Holland pioneered “total football” Kuyt has revolutionised the role of the modern day striker. He used to bang in 30 goals as a season, but who needs goals when you’re the best defensive striker in the world? Rafa deserves credit for converting Kuyt from a prolific striker into a world class talent worthy of a spot in this years Euro 2008 team of the tournament. It’s a pity Kuyts international team mates (such as Van Horseface) didn’t show the same passion and determination demonstrated by the duracell bunny esque Kuyt. He certainly silenced his doubters, especially the hordes of Manc armchair fans who continually deny the blonde haired vikings brilliance. Undoubted player of the tournament.
10/10

Fernando Torres-

What else is there to say about El Nino? To put it simply he’s the best player in the world, proven on the biggest stage and will deservedly get the World Player of the Year Award. The only threat will come from Fergies Mafia who are bound to intimidate FIFA officials into making a disgusting and immoral decision. Hopefully they will stand up to Fergie as it would be a travesty if Cristiano “The Minnow basher” Ronaldo scoops the award. Torres made Ronaldo look like a shower of shite during the competition demonstrating his brilliant finishing in the games when it mattered, whilst in comparison Ronaldo struggled to make an impact against international class defenders. BPITW (best player in the world). Torres>Kuyt>Ronaldo.

9.5/10

Phil Degen-

The Swiss press couldn’t believe his absence from Switzerland’s opening two games and Phil ultimately suffered from the inept management of Kobi Khunt. According to reports Deggen was a revelation in training, demonstrating his world class potential; yet another defensive gem unearthed by Rafa. Due to Deggens absence the Swiss team slumped to two early defeats sealing their early exit from the tournament. In retort eighteenfive initiated the highly acclaimed “Justice for Deggen” Campaign, receiving huge backing from thousands of True Reds in the form of an online petition. With this support eighteenfive successfully lobbied the Swiss Football Associaton and Deggen was given an opportunity to shine in Switzerland’s final match against Portugal. Phil produced a sublime performance inspiring the Swiss to an emphatic 2-0 victory over the cheating Portuguese (Nani and Ronaldo), showing Brazillian-esque attacking flair and defensive ability reminiscent of the great Franco Baresi. Deggen plays and Switzerland win….coincidence? I don’t think so- well done eighteenfive and well done Phil. A fine addition to the Premier Leagues best defence; nice one Rafa, you're a genius.
8.5/10


David Villa-

The Torres Villa partnership will set the Premier League alight. No one will be able to match our firepower up front. We now have two 40 goal a season strikers who will tear the likes of Rio and the Serbian mass murderer to shreds. We could well see Kuyty playing in a far more advanced role this season. The Villa-Torres-Kuyt or “holy trinity” is truly mouth-watering prospect and will be the final step to Premier League dominance. According to our inside sources, Villa has already agreed personal terms and the deal will be complete shortly after we receive funds from Peter Crouch’s sale. The tournaments top scorer, but slightly overshadowed by Nandos man of the match performance in the final.

9/10

Pepe Reina-

Cassilas is a top class keeper and had decent tournament but should he of started in front of Pepe? I don’t think so! Sadly Pepe has to contend with Aragoneses bias towards home based Spanish players resulting in Casillas getting the nod (take Fabregas as another example). Pepe has proven season after season that he is the best Goalkeeper in the Premier League putting in some sterling big game perfomances. Surely another flawless performance in the best defence in the world this season (along with some shiny cups) will see Reina take the number 1 jersey for his national team?

8/10

Xabi Alonso-

Convinced the ref to give the match Ball to David Villa after his hatrick vs Russia- a real touch of Scouse class. The Spanish midfield maestro looks set for Juventus in a £18 million deal. It will be sad to see Xavi leave but we can console ourselves with the arrival of Garry Barry, who looks a suitable World Class replacement and as a bonus is Stevie G's bingo buddy.
7.5/10

Alvaro Arbeloa-

Limited chances but proved his class when called upon. Sadly he will find it hard to compete with Deggers for the right back spot. According to sources Barcelona are preparing a £9 Million+ bid to bring him back to Spain where he will compete with Dani Alves for a first team place. Another great bit of business by Rafa.

7/10

Torres will surely win World Player of the Year?

Ronaldo has absolutely 0% chance of winning it due to his dismal performance in Euro 2008 and let’s face it; players who do well at major tournaments usually have a better chance than those who do not. Think 2002, when the more skilful Ronaldo won it, barely even playing a club game for the year.

The second reason why Ronaldo won’t win it and Torres will is because only one of them has proved that they can do it in the big games. Scoring in a Euro Final - you don’t get any bigger than that and is clearly a better achievement that scoring 42 goals against the likes of Derby County and Fulham.

Now you will get some clown manc (Bestie's Liver posting as anonymous most likely) come in here and argue that he scored against Chelsea in the European Cup final but that my friends is just bollocks. Firstly the goal shouldn’t have counted as Scholes was offside on the reverse pass to Brown and one thing the replays barely showed (Manc Biased Media) was Ronaldo shoving a hapless Micheal Essien in the back before heading the ball. Then there’s the little matter of him missing his penalty in the shootout, which clearly overshadows the illegal goal.

Torres may have some competition from Dirk Kuyt though who was Holland’s best performer of the tournament.

[PSL]

Well going through some of the stuff on eighteenfive it does look as if he's just trying to make fun of himself (and the "future" League winners )...

As far as Liverpool winning the BPL next season... I'm not sure about it.. They will win it sometime though.. why they might just do it in our lifetimes!.. wouldnt bet on it though

He is correct on one point though...Dirk Kuyt is the worlds greatest defensive striker!.. just as Pascal Cygan and Titus Bramble are the greatest defenders of the Modern Era..

And btw premierleague.com has started its new fantasy league season.. unlimited transfer till the seasons starts ofcourse Some old scores to settle here


Silly season huh?

[rockball]

Maybe I didn't get some sarcasm in the above posts or whatever but some of it is really absurd.

Reina better than Casillas?
Kuyt a defensive striker...oh yes he is the best at that. Rooney isn't too far behind too I think.

Torres is a fantastic striker. But no way is he anywhere near the best atm. Atletico isn't really crying out losing him. They finally got a CL spot this season after Torres left them.

And getting another striker would not work in his favour. He is better playing lone upfront.

[swagatsinha]

BBC SPORT | Football | My Club | Portsmouth | Crouch agrees terms with Pompey
11 million deal for Crouchie...good for him. I suppose he could do with the first team exposure.
BBC SPORT | Football | Internationals | Trezeguet finishes France career
Trezeguet has put the onus of his decision on Domenech, blaming him for not keeping him in the side.

[sumitrocks]

Maybe it's just that long-drawn and pointless posts bore me, or maybe I've lost the capability of spotting sarcasm, or maybe both. But, I didn't get much meaning out of the two 'sarcastic' posts. (Actually, I did exercise my fingers with all the unnecessary scrolling. )

PSL..jinke ghar sheeshe ke hote hain, wo doosro ko pathar nahin maara karte... Liverpool may or may not manage to lift the cup in our lifetimes, but Arsenal ke cup jeetne se pehle to mere grandchildren bhee retire ho chuke honge.

P.S. Standard disclaimer: No offence meant!