A girl was crying bitterly.
Mom: What happened dear?
Daughter: Mom do I look like a wicked witch?
Mom: No!
Daughter: Are my eyes big as toad?
Mom: No!
Daughter: Is my nose flat?
Mom: No baby!
Daughter: Am I fat like a bulldog?
Mom: You have a fine physique, you are a barbie doll!
Daughter: Then why people tell me that you look like your mom?
Exactly it happend with me in engineering days !
Lady 1: My son is very well behaved.
Lady 2: How can you say that? Wasn't he arrested and imprisoned for 5 years.
Lady 1: Yes, but he got out after 2 years for good behavior inside the jail.
Husband: Do you know that John who lives next door has two girlfriends unknown to wife.
Wife: Who is the other one?
Gooooooodd Morning ____/\____ 😴😴
@shawshanks @kennethsingh @krish_chaitu @Rohit143 @nikskrish @chetna_serious @IIMAscholar @rasrjha @deepak99 @vasuca10 @dreambegins @gotchapagal @Surabhi30 @venkat89 @ujwalaa @himu3107 @d20_mrunal @sanchitagrawal @lalit24 @braincrash @virupagla @Fizz_Sid
Strange..... there'll be always a doubt in my mind about modi 😞 .....
As Air Force One arrives at the Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards the Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.
Suddenly, the right rear horse lets out the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is so atrocious that both the passengers in the carriage, must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach, but, the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.
The Queen politely turns to President Obama, "Mr President, please, accept my regrets... I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."
Obama, always trying to be "Presidential," responded, "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought... Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."
Moral of the story: Silence is Golden!
Wife to her husband: Suno, aate hue zara kitchen se namak lete aana.
Husband (kitchen se): Yahan to koi Namak nahi hai.
Wife: Mujhe pata tha, tum toh ho hi andhe, kaamchor kahin ke. Ek kaam dhang se nahi kar sakte, bas bahane banaate rehte ho, zindagi mein kuch to kaam karo. Mujhe pehle se hi pata tha ki tumhe nahin milega, isliye mein pehle hi le aayi thi.
Husband shocked!
😠😠😠
Teacher: Kaun si chidiya sabse fast urti hai...........??
Student: Mam, Haathi !!
Teacher: Nalayak!!! Tera baap kya karta hai.......??
Student: Ji woh Al Qaida mein aatankwadi ka kaam karte hai !!!
Teacher: Shabash beta! Likho bacchon, answer likho, HAATHI.
🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂
Ek aadmi apne dost ke ghar gya. Door-bell bajane pe Pappu bahar aaya.
Aadmi: Beta apne papa ko bulao.
Pappu: Ji wo nahi hai, wo bazar gye hain.
Aadmi: Achcha toh bade bhai ko bulao.
Pappu: Wo apne dosto ke saath cricket khelne gya hai.
Aadmi: Achcha aapki mummy to ghar par hongi...??
Pappu: Nahi, wo apni saheliyon ke saath picnic par gyi hain.
Aadmi irritate ho kar gusse mein bola: Abe toh tu akela ghar pe kya kar rha hai tu bhi kahin chala jata?Pappu: Haan, tabhi to main yahan apne dost ke ghar aaya hun...!!!
A new 19th chapter added to Bhagwad Gita:
Arjun: Hey Vasudev, how can I do the most heinous and unpardonable act of forwarding junk mail that I receive, to my friends, relatives and revered elders?
Krishna: Hey Paartha, at this moment, none of them is your friend or foe, relative or in-law, young or old and good or evil. You have no escape from following your Net-Dharma. Make haste to log on and send off the junk mail to one and all. That is the only Karma expected of you and Dharma you must follow.
Arjun: Hey Murari ! Do not implore me to do something that pricks my conscience and stirs my soul.
Krishna: O Kunti-Puthra, you are caught in the vicious circle of the Maya. In this material world, you are committed to no one except to yourself, your Dharma and your mouse. Junk mails have existed for the last 25 years and will remain long after you are gone. Rise above the Maya and perform your bounden duty.
Arjun: Lord Krishna, pray and enlighten me on how junk mail is related to the Maya.
Krishna: Vatsa, junk mail is the 6th element in the universe - Aap, Vaayu, Jal, Agni, Aakaash and Junk Mail. It is at the same time animate and inanimate, living and dead beat. It overloads the system and fills up the hard disk. But it serves one great purpose. It leads people to believe that they are filling their time in an intellectual pursuit by reading and reforwarding junk mail. It gives them a sense of achievement without investing their intellect and efforts. Like the Atman that leaves one's physical body and moves on to another, the junk mail moves from system to system and never gets deleted or dies.
Arjun: Great Giridhaari, kindly tell me what the true attributes of junk mail are?
Krishna: Neither fire can burn it, nor air can evaporate it. Neither can it be conquered nor can it be defeated. Junk mail is omnipresent and immortal like your noble and eternal soul. Unlike an arrow shot from your bow, many a time the junk mail forwarded by you, will even return to you safely after some months or even years, allowing you to re-re-forward it to the same people.
Arjun: Great Saarathi, my salutations to you. You have opened my eyes to the cult of junk mail. I was lost in the Maya and have been reading all the junk mail that I keep receiving and doing no other Karma. Now on, I will just press the "Forward" button without reading any of it and send it to all and sundry, friends and foes, relatives and in-laws, young and old. That will surely bring them to their knees in this epochal battle of Good against Evil, in the Kurukshetra.
Krishna: Arjuna, victory or defeat is not in your hands. Do not ponder over the fruits of your labour. Just keep forwarding junk mail and make one and all go bananas reading it and you will have done your supreme duty. Tathastu.
Thus Spoke Lord Krishna ____________/\_____________
At a party, the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments. She was sure that not all of these had been invited but didn't know how to tell which ones were the crashers.
Then her husband got an idea.
He turned to the crowd of the guests and said, "Will everyone from the bride's side of the family stand up please?"
About 20 people stood.
Then he asked, "Will everyone from the groom's side of the family stand up please?"
About 25 people stood up.
Then he smiled and said, "Will everyone who stood please LEAVE... This is a 'Birthday Party'!!!"
🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂
कभी कभी बाजा़र में यूँ भी हो जाता है.
क़ीमत ठीक थी,जेब में इतने दाम नहीं थे
ऐसे ही इक बार मैं तुम को हार आया था। -- Gulzar
Hello 😃
@ujwalaa @Shubhangi.VJ
@Parichu @gotchapagal @saloni1931 @shawshanks @Rohit143 @rasrjha @prateeksinha04 @IIMAscholar @chetna_serious @Huss
Listening to Pappu's interview... the best comedy... 
mazza lelo..
😠 "Voila ! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me ....................."V"".
😲😲
