Oh yeah 
Sarcasm was created to confuse the stupid.
The similarity between Rahul Gandhi and Narendra Modi interview is that they both inspire you to vote for BJP
“Chase the vision, not the money, the money will end up following you.”
3rd class ka bachcha apni Miss se kehta hai: Main aapko kaisa lagta hun... ?
Miss: Too sweet and cute.
Bachcha: Toh phir main apne mummi-papa ko aap ke ghar kab bhej dun ??
Miss: Wo kyon?
Bachcha: Taaki wo hamari baat aage chalayein
Miss: Yeh kya bakwas hai.
Baccha: Tution padhane ke liye...!!! Miss aap bhi na kasam se TV dekh dekh ke kharab ho gayi hain...
One day, Mickey Mouse asks Donald Duck to tell him the story of Ramayana.Donald duck is impressed and starts reading verses from Ramayana.Mickey Mouse continues to listen. After completing the whole Ramayan, Donald Duck lets out a big sigh and asks Mickey Mouse, "Mickey Mouse, tell me... who was the father of Lord Ram?"
Mickey Mouse cannot. Angry, Donald duck, again asks, " Mickey Mouse!!! tell me... what was the capital of Ram's kingdom!"
Mickey Mouse cannot answer again.Infuriated, Donald Duck kicks Mickey Mouse hard, and Mickey Mouse goes and collides with a wall.
As soon as he collides with the wall,he gets up and starts saying verses of Ramayana from start to end
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How did this happen???
Think Think
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After hitting the wall, Mickey becomes Wall-Mickey (Valmiki).....
..... Bolo Jai Shree Ram
A Nano breaks down on a roadside.
A BMW stops to help the driver.
"I will tow you to the next service station, but if I drive too fast please flash your lights"
They start up slowly but only a km or so down the line a Porsche speeds past 150km/h.
The BMW driver totally forgets about the nano & guns it after the Porsche.
Just as all 3 of them tear through a speed trap, the cop radios the HQ:"Calling all stations, You won't believe this, I just saw a BMW & a Porsche racing past at about 190 km/h with a Nano behind them flashing its lights to Overtake."
Once a father beats up his son and when son starts crying father says sorry.
Son says: Take a piece of paper. Crumble it. Fold it. Now open it and say 'sorry' to it. Are the scars on the paper gone?
Dad says: Take my scooter and try to start. does it start? Nahin naa. Now give it 3-4 kicks. Now does it start? Hua na.
Saale tu wahi scooter hai, koi paper nahi. Aage se ye Facebook/WhatsApp wala gyaan apne baap ko mat dena.
Tenses....
Cricket is getting excited day by day with the introduction of IPL and T20...
Same rules should be applied in Exams too!
1. Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.
2. Power Play - No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.
3. Cheer Leaders - To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.
4. Strategic Time-Out - Time For Students For Discussion.
5. Super Over - Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question.
Best wishes & best of luck for exams.👼👼👍👍
New drugs for men created by women scientists are waiting for FDA approval...
ANIVERSIA: Triggers memories for birthdays and anniversaries...
SLIMOXIL: Widens male cornea making wives appear slim...
SPORTOBLIND X: Reacts with optic nerve to prevent men from recognizing the word "Sports" on TV...
WORKOCETAMOL: Generates an insatiable desire in men to do household chores...
SHOPHOFOBEX: Makes men eager to take wives for shopping every week and wait patiently...
FLIRTONATE-N: It reduces vision whenever a pretty woman passes by...
Caution: This joke is only for those who are able to digest PJs.
Girls take note:
A Girl to a Boy in a train: Can I sit here?
Boy: It' all yours.
Girl: Can I take some water?
Boy: Ya sure, my goodness.
Girl, thodi der ke baad: Bhaiya agla station kaun sa hai?
Boy: Mere baap ne mere bheje mein GPS fit nahi kar rakha hai, jaldi se seat khaali kar, mujhe neend aa rahi hai.
Now boys take note:
Boy: Hiii...!
Girl: What?
Boy: How are you?
Girl: Do I know you?
Boy: Am RICH.
Girl: Oh! My name is Mary but you can call me "BABY". Am 19 and I stay in Lekki. I love short dark men like you, and am glad to meet you. So when are we going out?
Boy: No! No! No! Rich is my name. It's the short form of Richard.
Girl: Sorry I don't talk to strangers.
Hisaab barabar, no offences please.
Properties of Indians:
1. Every Indian bachelor wants to marry a fair girl.
2. When the doorbell rings, a male or kid goes to open the door and the females run for their dupatta. So, keep ur friends close but your dupatta closer.
3. Picking up/dropping a relative (airport/railway stn) is an important family affair. Railway stns are like a stroll in the park.
4. Every teenage girls first crush is Dhoni or Virat Kholi. Mothers approve!! Mothers don't approve film stars though!
5. We thrive on street food and we don't get sick.
6. Every Indian mother has 2 careers... working/housewife + Match making.
7. We have all had secret boyfriends/girlfriends. We dint care about them cheating on us but we dreaded getting caught by each others parents.
8. Indian girls have 3 type of brothers.... Real brother, cousin brother, Rakhee brother. Every Indian guy is definitely somebody's rakhee brother!
9. The bride MUST cry at her Vidai. A bride has no business looking happy.
10. We go on cleaning sprees only during Diwali/Christmas or when we have guests coming over.
11. However old we are, our parents need to know every detail of our schedule. Daily. No excuses. No exemption.
12. When indian parents buy tickets, every child becomes under 12. Getting a half ticket is a huge victory!
13. If we live in another city and don't call our mom daily , she'll freak out and call all our friends to make sure we are alive.
14. We get embarrassed in front of our parents even when the word "sex" is written on a form to specify gender.
15. No other nationality can beat Indians in bargaining. "Chalo bhaiya . Na tera na mera. Itne paise theek hain."
16. No matter if we are Convent educated. When we are actually angry, we switch to highly effective, dirty, Hindi swear words.
17. We spend more time talking to guests at the door when they are leaving than while sitting in the living room.
18. Why to change the remote batteries when u can just slap the shit out of the remote and make it work?
19. Meeting a person with the same surname is like finding a long lost twin.
Question: Why Ambulance is White in Colour? (15 marks)
Ans: Ambulance has Oxygen cylinder.
Oxygen is a Gas, and Gas is used 4 cooking Food.
Food is source of Vitamins, and we get Vit-D from the Sun.
Sun produces Light; and Light comes from bulbs.
Small Bulbs are used to decorate Christmas tree...
Christmas means Gifts, and Gifts are given by Santa.
Santa lives in North Pole, and North Pole is the house of Polar Bears.
Polar Bears are White...
That's why Ambulance is White...
Moral of the story: Do not play with students' feelings. We can write anything for good marks.
Santa: I am in big trouble!
Banta: What happened?
Santa: I saw a rat in my house!
Banta: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
Santa: I don't have one.
Banta: Well then, buy one.
Santa: I can't afford one.
Banta: I can give you mine if you want.
Santa: That sounds good.
Banta: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the rat come to the trap.
Santa: I don't have any cheese.
Banta: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
Santa: I don't have oil.
Banta: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
Santa: I don't have bread.
Banta: Then what the hell is the rat doing in your house?