Hi all puys,please grade the below essay…my gmat is on 13th of this month and i’m really tensed right now 
_Corporations and other businesses should try to eliminate the many ranks and salary grades that classify employees according to th…
Hi all puys,please grade the below essay...my gmat is on 13th of this month and i'm really tensed right now :P
Corporations and other businesses should try to eliminate the many ranks and salary grades that classify employees according to their experience and expertise. A flat organisational structure is more likely to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees
Whether Corporations and other businesses should eliminate the many ranks and salary grades according to employees experience and expertise and instead use a flat organisational structure is debatable. On the one hand a flat structure does promote bonding between the employees and also cooperation among them; on the other hand it reduces it does reduce the motivation levels of the employees and thus productivity of the organisation. In this essay i will substantiate as to why its necessary to have different salary grades and ranks according to an employees experience and expertise.
First the flat organisational structure makes the employees work as a group and bond well together. It makes them feel that all including the CEO of the company is the same irrespective of the difference in the experience and responsibility they share. However, this will lead to reduced motivation among top level and experienced employees. The intention of having different salary structure and ranks is to motivate the employees to move up the ladder. Also, the change in rank brings in different responsibility. The responsibility that an employee at the lower level is very less than the responsibility that the top level employee has. Making them both equal will lead to reduced motivation among top level employee.
Secondly, in order to promote collegiality and togetherness among the employees it doesnt really require that all of them are paid equal. The sense of ownership to the company and equality can be promoted by making the employees realise that the company respects the work the employees do, be it at the lowest level or at the top most. Also, increasing the salary of employees every year and promoting them for the good work that they do makes them realise that they are recognised within the company and hence will result in increased productivity. Its human nature to expect raise and higher position as they continue within an organisation. A trainee will always think of moving up the ladder rather being the same for his entire life.
In conclusion, though promoting collegiality and cooperation among employees is essential for the growth of the company, it need not come at the cost of decreased productivity and motivation level among the employees. A flat organisational structure though likely to improve employee bonding will reduce the individual satisfaction and sense of ownership of the company, thus hampering the prospects of the company.
Good!
4-4.5/6
Hey jamy...thanks a lot....but can you help me out with the problem areas in the essay ?
i would rate it at 4 out of 6
Hi,
I'm here to counter you out.
I think you can includesome points and examples which can boost and take you to that 5+ level.
Couple of things i would like to address on your essay.
You can give example saying that every individual is not same ( every one has der own pace with which people work and excel...falt structure will only hinder the mindset of the individuals who work upto the mark and even then are at the same level which would not sink in and ( As you said motivation is degradded ) on the other hand individual who just bug around with der experience acually having no stuff ( the poor performers ) will be having creamy life.
though out of context you can give examples saying of our classroom exams. ( all those who are enrolled in particular class doesnt have to get the same set of marks ) we always have 1st ranker 2nd ranker and so on.
i think yu got the context im talkin in...! ( every bike is not 220cc der are bikes of 100cc as well ) :)
Regards,
Sumeet
Hey Sumeet,
Thanks for analysing the essay :)..and yes i too was thinking of adding examples but could not figure out any at that moment bcz of time constraint...thanks for the examples and also the explanation.
Hi , Though I am a novice in writing essays, A few problem areas that I as a reader found out in this passage was :-
1. It is being reiterated umpteen number of times that a flat salary structure would promote better bonding among employees but I don't find any specific example to support your assumption...
2. The passage braces only a few points :
a. Flat structure better bonding
b. different structure executives satisified .......
Though even 2 points are enough to say ur stand but I only find these points being told in a very generic tone again and again with different wordings each time..
I hope my small advice to u might be helpful in ur exam...
@achintbvp-: hehe....thanks for bringing out the problems in the essay..will improve upon the points provided by you.
I hope...all you guys will not start calling me troubled child for posting another essay for review :P
"The desire of corporations to maximize profits creates conflict with the general welfare of the nation at large."
Whether the desire of corporations to maximize profits creates conflict with the general welfare of the nation at large is debatable. Though there are instances wherein the above mentioned point might be true, it largely depends on the circumstances under which the company tries to maximize its profits. I would say that the motives of the corporations in maximizing their profits play a major role in affecting the general welfare of the nation.
Firstly, it depends on approach of the company for maximizing its profits. Sometime, the company may take a path which might not strictly be legal. For example, many mining industries try and evade paying complete taxes to the government in order to maximize their profit, thus evading rightful money to the country. This proves to be a threat to the general welfare of the nation. Also, these mining companies resort to illegal mining in order to increase their profits thereby not only plundering the natural resources but also decreasing the revenue generated to the government.
Consequently there are organisations which maximize their profit by making use of the resources available within the country. For example, in India, a company belonging to the software industry makes use of the abundant talent available in a better way. They compete in the international market by offering services at a price much lower than others. This doesn't mean that the company is putting the general welfare of the country under threat. The salary of the employees is still a commendable one according to country standards, though might not be on a global scale.
In conclusion, the corporations may either affect the general welfare of the nation with their desire of maximizing the profits, but it largely depends on the values and on the functioning of the companies. Admittedly, in the apparent desire of increasing profits the companies may play spoil sport for their own benefit but it cannot be generalized that desire for increasing the profits will always conflict with the general welfare of the nation at large.