Woman 2: It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins. How was yours?
Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale!
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work
Husband 1: How was your evening?
Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep. What about you?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that didn't have money left for a cab.We walked home which took an hour & when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house!!
Moral: Presentation does matter. No matter what the reality is.
“If all the world hated you and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved of you and absolved you from guilt, TRUST me you would not be without friends.”
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where he'd got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep.
However, they persisted until he finally gave in. “Okay, follow me,” he said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
“Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked.
“YES, YES, YES!” all the other bats screamed in a frenzy.
Two storks are sitting in their nest, a father stork and his son. The son is asking his father where his mother went. “Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy.”
“Bringing babies?” the son asked.
“That's right,” the father replied. “That's our job.”
“Wow! I wanna do that!” the son replied.
The next night, it's the father's turn to make deliveries.
“Is Dad delivering babies too?” the son asked.
“That's right,” the mother answered. “He's bringing new joy to mommies and daddies.”
“I wanna do that!” the son replied.
The next day, the father and mother discussed it and decidedd the son could make a delivery. “We're going to let you try,” the father said to his son. “This is what you do. The baby will be wrapped in cloth. Hold the cloth in your beak like this. Then you just deliver it to the proper location. Can you do that?”
“I can!” the son replied. They sent him on his way.
Hours passed and the son still had not come back. The parents were getting worried.
He finally came back. “What took you so long?” the mother asked. “Did you make the delivery?”
“Yes,” the son replied. “Sorry I took so long. I was just having some fun scaring college students!”
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!MORAL :Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.Remember the five simple rules to be happy:1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happens.3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.4. Give more.5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.😁😁😲
