Main Ibrahim Khan, Iqhlaq Ahmed, Mohammed Zahir aur Khursheed Lala ko select nahi reject karwana chahta hu. Aur in fact ab aap log mera ye kaam pura karenge, wo bhi aaj, abhi.
IIMK: Sorry main kuch samjha nahi.
Aapke college mein non GEM aata hai to aap kya karte hain K sahab? Aap usko paalte hain. Ye chaaro non GEM K ko ganda karenge aur aaj main K ko saaf karna chahta hu.
K: Tum ho kaun?
Main wo hu jo aaj CAT dene se darta hai. Main wo hu jo mock dene jata hai to sabko lagta hai ki jung par ja raha hai. Pata nahi 99 cross hoga ya nahi. Har mock ke baad phone karte hain ki sectionals mein 90+ hai ki nahi. Darasal vo ye jaanana chahte hain ki main CAT dunga bhi ya nahi. Main vo hu jo kabhi, 10th, 12th mein fasta hai, kabhi graduation mein, main wo hu jo apni BTech ki degree dekhkar khoon ke aansu rota hai, aur main wo bhi hu jo boss se experience certificate lene se ghabrata hai. CAT ka form bharta hu to sochta hu sath mein SNAP bhi bhar du, kahin CAT mein 99.9 se kam aya to ek saal aur na lag jaye. Diversity mein koi bhi aaye, pista main hi hu. CAT ke center ke bahar bheed to dekhi hogi na aapne, bheed mein se koi ek shakal chun lijiye, main vo hu. I am just a stupid common GEM, wanting to get into an IIM.
K: Aaj acahnak ye stupid common GEM kaise jaag gaya? Vo bhi 99.69 ke sath.
Kyu jaag gaya to takleef ho rahi hai. Zindagi bhar ghut ghut kar marte rehna chahiye tha mujhe. Aur ye achanak nahi hua K sahab. Yu samajhiye ki time nahi mila. CAT ki taiyari ke chakkar mein ye kaam zara neglect ho gaya lekin der aae durust aae. Vo baki ka ek non GEM bhi aaj hi reject hoga.
K: Ye char non GEM hi kyun? Aur bhi to hain.
Maine lottery nikali, in charo ka naam nikal aya.
K: Tum ye keh rahe ho ki agar humne is ek non GEM ka call wapas nahi liya to na jane kitne non GEMs ko tum troll karoge?
Arey vo log to vaise bhi troll honge, K sahab aaj nahi to kal. Aur aapke professors hi troll karenge unhein. Pichli baar I mein reject hue the is baar K mein aur agli baar kahi aur reject honge. Aur tab tak troll karte rahenge jab tak ye nanga naach band nahi ho jata.
K: Tum ho kya?
Matlab?
A: Matlab Mechanical ho, CS, ya Electronics? Kya ho?
Meri branch ka isse kuch lena dena nahi hai.
K: Lena dena hai.
Maine kaha na I am just a stupid common GEM.
K: Stupid common GEM.
Right.
K: Tumhein dar lag raha hai. Reject hone ka. Ek saal fir ghisane ka.
Shayad.
K: Be specific. Haan ya naa.
Haan
K: To phir ye dar yaad rakhna. Aur ye mat sochna tum GEM ka jhanda dikha kar bach jaoge. Tum jo saabit kar rahe ho na wo…
Main saabit kuch nahi karna chahta hu. K sahab main sirf aapko yaad dilaana chahta hu. Ki GEMs mein gussa bohot hai unhein aazmana band kijiye. We are resilient by force not by choice. Aapko bebas karne mein mujhe sirf chaar memes lage. Aapko kya lagta hai jin non GEMs ko IIMs call aae hain vo humse zyada intelligent hain? Arey internet par 80 ya 70 percentilers search maarke dekhiye teen hazaar bawan non GEMs milenge IIMs mein, ki BA hai ya BCom. hai, sara information hai. Aasani se accesible hai, mufat mein. Aap jaante hain ek veterinary doctor bhi ek potential IIM student hota hai. Mujhe lagta hai ki MBA ke liye isse zyada useful degree aaj tak nahi bani. Galti hamari hai, hum log bohot jaldi used to ho jaate hain. Ek veterinary wale ka IIM mein selection hota hai to WhatsApp par forward ke zariye sara majra dekh liya. Pagalguy pe daal diya, facebook pe post kiya aur shukar manaya ki aur veterinary select nahi hue. Fir hum system se ladne ki bajaye usse adjust karna shuru kar dete hain. Par hamari bhi majboori hai na. Humein BTech poori karni hoti ha sahab. Isiliye hum coaching institute chunte hain ki wo 99.69 ko 99.99 karwaye. Aap, ye coaching wale, IIMs, alumni, saksham hain in non GEMs ko control karne ke liye, lekin aap log kar nahi rahe hain. Sirf shay diye ja rahe hain. Why are you not nipping them in the bud. Ek GEM IIM mein pohochega ya nahi ismein use 5 saal tak lag jaate hain. Aapko nahi lagta ye IIMs ki kabiliyat par sawal hai. Ye sara natak band hona chahiye. This whole bloody system is flawed. Aap jaise log in non GEMs ka safaya nahi karenge to humein jhadu uthani hogi. Lekin kya hai usse hamari is Rum Rum Rum Rum Rum Whiskey wali life ka balance bigad jayega. Lekin kya karein. K sahab mujhe yakeen hai jo economy neeche ja rahi hai, vo sirf ek global slowdown ki vajah se nahi hai, vo ek bohot bada sawal hai. Aur vo sawal ye hai ki ye non GEM to desh ki economy ko yu hi barbaad karenge, tum kya kar loge? Yes! They asked us this question. On a Friday, repeated it on a Tuesday, I am just replying on A Wednesday.
K: Tumhari ye home made add salt to taste wali philosophy galat hai. Ye sahi tareeka nahi hai.
Haan janta hu. Lekin aaj main tareeke ke bare mein nahi nateeje ke baare main soch raha hu.
K: Tumhara koi jaan pehchan wala GEM IIM mein nahi ja paya tha?
Kyu mujhe us din ka intzar karna chahiye jab mera koi apna GEM bhai is tarah zaleel ho, tab mera ye kadam aapko jayaz maloom hoga. Haan jaanna hi hai to suniye. Mera apna koi tha us IIMK ki line mein. IIT Bombay se tha. Naam nahi janta main uska. Har roz milta tha GDPI ki classes mein. GD ke shuru mein muskurakar hath hilake hello kehta tha, main bhi usko jawab mein hello kehta tha. Aise bohot sare GEM the. Ek dusre ko branch se nahi jaante the, sirf GEM ke naate se jaante the. Calls aane se ek din pehle usne muskurakar mujhe apna CAT score card dikhaya tha. He was very happy. Agle din meri percentile thodi zyada thi mujhe call aa gaya. Par use call nahi aya. Uske baad jab main IIMK ke GD mein gaya to wahaan meri jaan pehchan ka koi nahi tha. Sab nae chehre the.
K: To ye sab tum un purane chehro ke liye kar rahe ho.
Nahi, nahi, nahi. Main itna bhi emotional ya sentimental nahi hu. I always new, what not getting an IIM call is. Pichli saal rejection dekha hai maine, lekin sahab ye acceptable nahi hai. Koi m**@%#^d, pardon my language, lekin koi m@^%&^%d mere liye email bhej kar ye faisla nahi karega ki muhe konsa call ana hai. Unhein fakr hai 69 pe, 74 percentile pe. IIMK, IIMI, IIML. Mujhe fakr hai khud pe, ki main aise logo ko troll kar raha hu. Main koi maseeha nahi hu K sahab, aur ye main kisi ke liye nahi sirf apne liye kar raha hu. Main chahta hu ki kal agar mera GEM bacha CAT ka form bhare to bekhauf IIMs ke sapne dekhe, A ke, B ke kisi bhi IIM ke.
K: Main tumhein samajh nahi pa raha hu.
Kyuki, mere reasons aur mer demand ajeeb si hain na.
K: Shayad.
Be definite. Haan ya naa.
K: Haan.
Vo log mere jaise do hazar GEM ko call na bheje to thik hai, aur main un jaise sirf char ke calls vapas lene ko kahu to ye ajeeb sa hai. Aapki galti nahi hai. K se yahi ummeed ki ja sakti hai. 11vi 12vi ghisao. IIT mein char saal bardasht karo aur aam GEM ki tarah naukri karte karte mar jao. Apne aap ko hi dekh lijiye. Jab tak aapko malum nahi tha main kaun hu, aap mujhse dar bhi rahe the, mujhe seriously bhi le rahe the, ab maine aapko bata diya ki main ek aam GEM hu to aapki awaaz mein achanak ek confidence aa gaya hai. Shayad aap ye bhi soch rahe honge ki acha, 100 percentiler nahi, 99.69 wala hai, tab to asani se reject kar dunga.
K: Nahi aisa nahi hai
Aisa na ho to behtar hai kyuki sare memes vahi ke vahi hain. K sahab ye aap pe depend karta hai ki ye mera aakhri call hoga ya nahi. Abse thik dus minute baad main enter daba dunga. Mere paas ek android aur ek windows wala pc bhi hain. Mujhe Pagalguy par ye confirm report chahiye ki in chaar non GEMs ke call wapas le liye gae hain. Agar aisa hota hai to main fauran apna laptop shut down kar dunga. Aur agar aisa nahi hota hai to aage aapki zimmedari.
K to A: Sir main chahta hu ki ye decision aap le.
A: Apne paas uski baat maane ke alawa koi rasta hai?
K: Nahi ha sir.
A: Lekin ye galat hai sir.
K: Vo to hai sir.
A: Magar hum kar bhi kya sakte hain.
K: Kuch nahi kar sakte sir.
Non GEM 1: Ye sab kya hai?
Beta what is the relation between inradius, sides and area of a triangle?
Non GEM 1: Babar ka beta Humayun. Humayun ka...
Band karo apni ye bakwas. Ab se thik dus minute baad tum K ko ek bohot hi important email bhejogi. Maine promise kiya tha na ki tumhari zindagi ka sabse important din hoga. Send. See for yourself.
Non GEM 1: Aapne mujhe abhi beta kaha.
Tumne sahi suna. Bye.
Non GEM 2: Ye GEM kafir hai sala. Use kuch nahi pata. Baat hum non GEMs ki hai. Tumhari aur meri hai. Hamare bhai behno ki hai. Hamare IIM calls ki hai. Hamare haq ki baat hai. Hum sath rahenge to koi hamara kuch nahi bigad sakta. S mein, Rohtak mein, 69 percentile par call liya na humne. Koi rok saka.
To be continued...