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When letting go of something you hold so dear becomes tough

Dear Puys,

Sorry for this long and irrelevant post on this sacred thread of achievers and winners. This is not a success story, as you might have guessed from the starting lines, but another rant from an underdog. I did not want to post this here, but I was sure that if there was a place where I could garner some much needed motivation in this hour of distress, it was this thread. I know there would be a lot of other people with similar story as mine, I hope my post here helps them as well to come to grips with the grim situation we find ourselves in.

So here I am, sitting in front of my laptop typing this loser’s story, of how I failed to convert my most important calls even after securing a decent percentile and giving good interviews. It just couldn’t get better than this. MDI(WL), NITIE(Reject), SJMSOM(Reject), IIM Shillong(Reject), NMIMS(WL) – The list just grows bigger each passing day. The only converts that I can boast of at this point of time is VGSoM and IIT M. But then, after having secured a 98.80 in CAT, and having appeared year after year after year just to get a chance to walk in the hallowed corridors of the most coveted management institutes of the country, I am just not able to accept the fact that I have to settle down with a VGSoM(not that I am demeaning this institute in any way, it’s just that I had set bigger and better ambitions for myself). To top it all, I am counting the last few days in my organization. And with my work experience touching 3.5 years now, I had decided to take the plunge this year come what may. Of course, I was confident, given the fact that I had a lot of calls, and barring a couple of them, I had good interviews in all of the others, with my ideas and points of view being appreciated as well, in some of them. Reject – was something which was just unexpected. Waiting for another year to take CAT again seems idiotic, since even if I do bag a better percentile next year, the number of rejects I’ve been bestowed with this year scares the daylights out of me.

So at this point-of-no-return, I find myself petrified, stupefied, muddled and embarrassed, without a morsel of an idea as to how to go about my future from hereon. Should I join VGSoM and forget about my dreams? Should I take up another job and take CAT again next year? Should I wait for MDI wait list to clear? Should I just pull up my socks and go all guns blazing for FMS, which I am still not sure I’ll get a call from? These questions have been haunting me ever since last night, when SJMSOM released its shortlist and was a final nail in the coffin of my aspirations.

Sorry to bore you all with the humbug posted here, but I do feel much better after having penned down and shared my feelings with you all. My anger needed an outlet, and this one was just perfect. I don’t know what I am going to do now, I have no idea. Thankfully, I have a lot of support from my parents and friends, because of which I am still in the right spirits. Time is the best healer they say – So I guess i’ll just take a break from all this and not think about anything at all.

PG has always been a great support. Although I am not very active as many of the others are, I have always followed the happenings/developments/conversations very religiously. I’ve made quite a few friends as well, in the process. I’m quite sure their prayers and belief in my abilities will help me somewhere and sometime. Till then, all I can do is just hope.

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