Intellectual Humor!!

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About this group
Good intellectual jokes to stimulate the brain... :: If you've read or been told a really good joke that is intellectual in nature (not the random ones, the ones that need some math or general logic to understand post it here). Chee...
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All my friends are mathematical: theyre either irrational or imaginary.

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An economist, a logician and a mathematician are on a train from England to Scotland together, shortly after they cross the border they see a brown cow in a field near the train tracks.

The economist says Look, the cows in Scotland are brown
The logician says At least one of the cows in Scotland are brown
and the mathematician says There is at least one cow in Scotland, at least one side of which is brown

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Test for Idiocy
Below are four ( 4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?


Let's find out just how clever you really are....



Ready? GO!!!



First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you

are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ?

Second Question:
I f you overtake the last person, then you are...?




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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?


You're not very good at this, are you?




Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only .
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000. Now add 30 .
Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000
Now add 10 . What is the total?




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Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
...Maybe.



Fourth

Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter?




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Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?


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He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!

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Ahhaaaa new shiny thread :biggrin:

The thread is already 9 irrelevant post down.
Please post stuff that is relevant...

We shall watch this one closely

Cheers,
Pallavi

P.S- Lovely collection

My old signature does not fit here :(
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sakuworm Says
mika hakkinen overtook david coulthard who was the last person in the italian grand prix. what is hakkinen's position before and after this particular event?


hakkinen's position before was : first >>>

and after david overtook him .. he was still first >>> ... as they cud have been racing in circular mannner ... LAWgik ...
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The US Army's second division set up base in South Korea, and had a slogan that said "Second to None" displayed at base....

A few months later, a South Korean base opened just down the road, and the sign that greeted the visitors was

" You are now entering the South Korean Division, better known as THE NONE DIVISION"

Intellectual indeed

SK pwned USA


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A lion never cheats on its wife; but a Tiger Wood



this was coool..



Conversation between George W. and his National Security Advisor,
Condolezza Rice:

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Thanks.
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ok here's one:


A lion never cheats on its wife; but a Tiger Wood

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mika hakkinen overtook david coulthard who was the last person in the italian grand prix. what is hakkinen's position before and after this particular event?

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A car crash occurs. One car was being driven by a handsome young fella, and the other by this pretty chick. Their cars are damaged beyond repair but miraculously both of them survive unscathed. The woman goes to the man and says, "Somehow even though our cars are wrecked, we have survived without injuries. And since you're a man and me a woman, this must be God giving us a sign that we should become friends and spend our life together."

The man, obviously floored by this, says that he agrees. Now the woman walks to her car, and picks up a bottle of wine which has also miraculously survived the ordeal and says, "This is yet another miracle. Lets drink to celebrate" and hands the bottle to the guy, who eager to please her, drinks half the bottle in one gulp. And then he says, "Wont you have any?"

The wise woman says, "Uhuh... Not until the police arrive" :splat:

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