essay evaluation

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dear all , kindly proof read my essay , as 1230 character was the limit so theya re small and consice. 11\. Please describe two situations, business or otherwise, in which you were involved and which were of importance to you. Explain why ...
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dear all , kindly proof read my essay , as 1230 character was the limit so theya re small and consice.


11. Please describe two situations, business or otherwise, in which you were involved and which were of importance to you. Explain why you view them as such.
a..
We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities in business. We just need to recognize them and convert them into sales, which is the work of a marketing manager. When I was with Kaybee Group, I was responsible for sales in European markets. And I use to travel 25days in a month to different suppliers. One fine evening, was traveling to Shaoxing city (textile city of China) and was on the way back to shanghai. I boarded the 1830 bus to shanghai, and after me one other Indian person came inside the bus and sat beside me. Our bus started from the bus station towards shanghai. As usual, I could not control myself without speaking to the person sitting next to me. He happened to be from Surat city in India. On further talking with him, I realized he was a businessman and wants to source cheaper option for the fabric from china to substitute his present fabric from India. But he was not successful in sourcing because did not found a reliable supplier. Considering a business opportunity, I jumped into it and offered my help. I realized just in a few minutes I was very close to a business deal. I took the enquiry and within few minutes gave him the price and since I knew that his company has good reputation in India I closed the first deal without the consent to my boss. The person went to shanghai, took the flight to Mumbai and gave me the l/c within 4 days time. We shipped him our first container and then he placed a repeat order of 4 containers second time. Even today we both are surprised how the business started and are good friends now. This event was very significant in my learning of marketing and business understanding, because business never comes itself; one needs to keep looking for it. It also helped me boosting my confidence in marketing and getting me a higher bonus from my employers.

b...
During my second year of college, I was active in National Service Scheme cadre (NSS). I was mostly involved with donation collection program and organized road shows. Than on fine day my Professor introduced me to a social worker as he was looking for a teacher for a slum school in Delhi. For me it was a new but exciting opportunity, hence I accepted it. I went to the slum colony for the first time and saw the school there. It was just a 1 room house with no black board, table chair etc. Even there were no students, because people in the locality believe that sending children to school is meaningless and instead their children can work to earn money. The time I was involved in this program was during summer break, and it was scorching 45 degree C temperature in Delhi. We went to many households near the school and tried to convince them to send their children to school. Some parents agreed some did not but at least by 5th day the classes started with 3 students. To my surprise all students had the book and they all wanted to study. But as days passed more children joined the class and strength reached to 15 students.

We ran the school successfully and my efforts were very well acknowledged by the NSS. I still the remember smiling faces of the students and the enthusiasm they had in attending my classes. This experience got imprinted on my soul forever and gives me a sense of satisfaction that I helped someone learn to write and read. This experience is also influenced my job, making me more concern about others feeling and help in creating a win-win situation at work.

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