Chat between two serious IIM aspirants and the elusive CAT/IIMs (Satire)

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My own creation when I was in a lighter mood. :smile: All those who got calls, dont read this. You may not enjoy it. :: Obviously this must be read in a lighter vein. :: *Chat between two serious *_CAT_* aspirants and the elusiv...
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Very Old thread, stop discussing here

Success retained me as a boy, but failure(s) made me a man IIM Calcutta - Class of 2012
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Ok..Havent slept well for last two days so please excuse me for any typos, commas :)

Reading this thread...few things come back to haunt me...

First was never serious about CAT or IIM's the only thing ever wanted to do is to learn finance and so, thought of taking up some ibanks and manged to get interview calls from lehman for their...derivatives and enterprise valuation group..the first one went bad...second one was awesome..rejected both times..though for different reasons...was saddened...till...someone asked me to write CAT..one of the reasons i rejected was that i didnt had MBA degree...but do i need it when...i already have financial insight and knowledge...i believe not...but then who will make those MBA dons sitting at top of ibanks understand that..the thing was i just knw whatever i knw abt finance and wanted to know and learn more.

Ne how..gave CAT07 and was totally bamboozled by the riddles in questionpaper what the heck...let alone answers even questions where not properly framed..was it because those studs wasted their time preparing VA and forgot to Frame QA n DI properely i mean what a SHAME a DI question wrong(lucky for me i knew it there).....and in QA that stock waala question still haunts me(basically holds the key for my calls).....still didnt get what was intention behind asking that riddle.

And VA oops..jus go n check 5 insti n m sure you will find at least 10 questions where even 3 choices are correct....what are you checking...Have we watched Sholay or...we know how to play TOSS....VA deserves Bashing...

and the system offcourse the coveted IIM call...which has no way means of standard process...take your pick..play at casinos and decide whatever suits you...Bring in some rational man...Logic man...just cudnt find one...The Balance no where to be seen..but then who cares...

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Mindblowing post....mazaa aa gaya kasam se...

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My own creation when I was in a lighter mood. :smile:

All those who got calls, dont read this. You may not enjoy it.

Obviously this must be read in a lighter vein.

Chat between two serious CAT aspirants and the elusive CAT/IIMs

Student 1 : Dear Sir. I have got 99.33, 99.72 in 2 sections and a 99.84 overall, but only 95.32 in the other section??: . Can i get a call, Dear CAT, from IIMA.

CAT/IIMA : What????, IIMA Call?. Dont you see you are not competent enough to cope up with the rigorous 2 year course we conduct here. Had you scored 0.02 %ile more you could have proved yourself to be competent enough to pursure a course and joined the ranks of MS Banga and Harsha Bogle. With a poor 95.32%ile in one section, All i can tell you is plz study more.

Student 1 : Sir, How about the chances from IIMB. :neutral:

CAT/IIMB : Ha ha ha ha ha.. IIMB.. ha ha ha.. (Gearing up itself somehow to answer the question).. Fine.. I will anyway try to answer your question.. I need a few more details to answer your question anyway.. like..

1) What is your Date of Birth. It must fall between May 14th and Dec22nd. Else doubtful. Lets see. There are some rare cases who get thru with some lineancy in that. Anyway. Best of Luck on that.
2) 10th scores and the State you did it from and also, whether you have scored more than 83.11 % in that
3) 12th scores and the State you did it from and also, whether you have scored more than 86.76 % in that
4) Work-ex. Just the number of months would do fine. You need not tell whether you did it Microsoft, Google or Kandasamy mudaliar Textile mill at chittoor.. It does not matter much. We need diversity, you know. We also dont like differentiating between people based on illogical data like this.
5) CAT %ile. Now, wait. This is thr trickiest part. We are still awaiting the results from Las Vegas Casinos were our profs are playing. They are yet to finish the game. Prof X (who has a bet on keeping VA cut-off at 88.32%ile) is losing badly. He needs to improve on his casino skills. Prof Y is winning the game. He had pegged it at 96.32%ile. lets see.. Last year Prof Z won hands down with a 85%ile in DI. A few bugging students sneaked into our institute thru that. Lets see how many more get lucky this year. But lemme say guys, Its fun. Casinos are fun. The above rules are very well applicable for other IIMs too, though some lineancy maybe allowed.

Student 1: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Somehow composing himself to ask the next question)

Student 1: But Sir, almost none of these can be changed by me now. I dont have any control over it at this stage of my life.:eh:

CAT : Obviously. You cant change. And thats what we love the most. You have absolutely no control over your destiny. We control it. You heard it right? Anyway.. We do have a backdoor entry. If you score 99.95+ in all three sections and a 99.98+ overall, you may be exempted from all this. But again, its a "maybe". So please dont have high hopes. Lets see.

Student 2: Sir, I have scored 99.81 overall and a 99.96 in quants, 99.14 in verbal but a 78.17 in DI coz of a bad day. I have received no calls from none of the IIMs till now. But I have good work-ex, can very well think logically and am suited to do an MBA from the top IIMs. I can obviously handle the rigour. :satisfie:

CAT : ROTFL.. My God! a 78.17 in DI.. Do these profs release these types of below average percentiles too:shocked:. Yuck! I never knew anyone can get a 78.17 in DI. pretty surprising. And were you talking about calls from the IIMs. First you need to explain to them what a 78.17 means.

Student 2: But sir a 99.96 in quants and a 99.81 overall and a 99.14 in VA. Does that not look attractive enough to study at IIMs ABCLI?:angry:

CAT : Sorry.. I could not hear properly.. What did you tell your score was in DI?

Student 2 (losing his cool ): WTF. WTF do you want to know. I got a f'in 78.17 in DI and finally all you buggers decided I am incompetent to think logically. You decide that since I could not crack one more set in DI, I am not fit for management. Blah Blah Blah..

.................. p://www.pagalguy.com/forum/" target="_blank">CAT (gets a phone call) : Are Bhatta bhai. kahan hai tu.. Still playing at the casinos? You guys have real fun time.. So who won the game and whats the cut-off for QA this year.. What.. 89.11 ile huh.. Who won the game.. Ok.. Visit the miami beach.. (and he walks off speaking)

Cheers,
Pradeep


Aur bata, Next year ke liye SMS poll lagayen kya ? Our revenues will increase multiple-fold Next academic year we can also have a CASE-STUDY on "How effective this SMS selection procedure is." Prof from vegas: Nice. By this way we can get rid of reservation issue as well. ....
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n just wait 4 ths years results!! i m hopeful o a gud score..n a coupl calls mayb..n evn thn i sumhw have begun to be so wary of it all..i realy wonder HOW DO THY GET QUESTIONS WRONG...n dat 2 evry year..n 2-3 questions at dat..!!cumpletely beats me..luk at IITs..those guys earlier had those subjective papers....n not a single mistake!
n thn this wonderful criterions!! IIMB says it shall put 20% weightage on CAT n 15% on 12th boards!! how beautiful is dat!! ur score in chemistry in ur 12th boards is almost of d same importance as ur D.I. in cats!! (ok. sum 2% less important!!) n these folks shall train peopl how to think logically!!
god bless us.amen.

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xcellent job rather diamond job dude!!!

d gandhigiri way....
u rock
i hope sum IIM big wig c this posting n d number of times u r thanked 4 this:grab: ....sure he/she will b sooooooooooo embarrassed.


Long time since I have posted here.
No one is gonna be embarassed to see what has been written here. IIMs have there way of selection and that can be as random as possible. Not even students who got in know what is the criteria to get in.

Personally I feel , you have to be very lucky to get through IIMs. Its a uniform distribution of about 5000 students who are good enough to be here, however IIMs have limited seats, so they have to pick up some criteria.
Pick out any 1200 from these 5000 and they will be good enough. The other 3800, well unfortunate.

Even if you see a clear pattern in GD/PI calls, you will be surprised by the ambiguity of final calls.

So chill, relax, enjoy the process. It will teach you a lot of things.

All the best.
BTW, I took me 4 attempts to be here and I missed every year by a whisker
-----'There are two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it!' - Oscar Wilde----
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Satire at it's best I must say.

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one thing i would like to ask u "rpradeephere"..... what inspired u to wite such a great article and seeing so many thnx ..... my advice is to go and try out a hand in writting buddy

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dunno what the existing system is based all about....99.98 percentil with 99+ in each section still people get no calls from iimb.......this really frustrates one......after doing so much hard work for one long yr...if u dont get paid of its really frustrating.....anyway that proves they donot believe in the test they are taking......

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xcellent job rather diamond job dude!!!

d gandhigiri way....
u rock
i hope sum IIM big wig c this posting n d number of times u r thanked 4 this:grab: ....sure he/she will b sooooooooooo embarrassed.

Commenting on this post has been disabled by the moderator.