ask VIBRANTURE - anything & everything on MBA Essays

21 Posts  ·  7 Users
About this group
*Here's the deal: shoot all your questions, doubts and queries on mba essays at me. Throw relevant queries on essay questions - from ISB, Harvard, INSEAD, Stanford or whichever dream B-School you are applying to; you can expect thoughtful, pertine...
Page 1 of 3

Edit: Locking thread

Command like a king, work like a slave.
Commenting on this post has been disabled by the moderator.

Thread started with an aim of surrogate advertising against the rules of the forum. Thread closed and **********- banned.

Please refer to our existing experts for essay advice...

http://www.pagalguy.com/discussions/ask-jenniferacceptedcom-application-writing-advice-for-the-best-global-b-schools-25025495
OR
http://www.pagalguy.com/discussions/ask-jeremy-mbamissioncom-what-it-takes-to-get-to-the-best-global-business-school-25016244

I come in peace. Take me to your leader. http://www.twitter.com/apurv
Commenting on this post has been disabled by the moderator.
Welcome back rashs_inn!

We could start a separate thread just for the two of us :-)

The premise sounds good. I would like much more of YOU in the story - esp. develop the bits where you learnt about varied functions and also the actual process of how YOU helped "creat(e) a centralized knowledge repository". Specifics about gain to organization/co-workers in terms of time/ease/profit/savings might make the value of the project more accessible to the reader.

Hope you will be able to take it forward from here.....

Best wishes.

this is Prince signing off for **********

Hi **********,

This is my story ......for accomplishment. This is the story....

Comment if it makes sense to showcase this is an accomplishment story

Background:
When I joined XYZ , I had minimal knowledge of programming languages and computer science fundamentals. During my initial days in XYZ, working for an ever evolving clientele, teams struggled to find solutions due to unavailability of right knowledge artifacts.
Action and results:
Since 2003 I took initiative in Knowledge management to understand the various functional aspects and networked with Education and research arms of the organization to achieve the goal of creating a centralized knowledge repository "ABC center of excellence" in 2006, one of the "N" recognized COE at an organization level and used across the globe.
Taking the initiative and personal learning to next level I worked with research arm of XYZ to publish 2 papers on my experiences of implementing unique solutions, and use the forum to share best practices in the industry wide peer reviewed journal.
Why accomlishment - commitment to work for the betterment of the organization as well as my drive to take my learning ability to next level.
Commenting on this post has been disabled by the moderator.
Hi Nish!,

My opinion was/is: "In fact your informal representation earlier was better since it clearly mentions INITIATIVE (great word, great action), Startup (always gives a sense of dynamism, new beginnings), Colleagues (w/o mention of your team/colleagues it seems like you have been working in a vacuum). Also does your language become rigid, "Essay English" in the final version?"

Guide to my previous Guidance .

1. Intiative: When you say "I took the initiative to xythhhghdhd" not only do you win brownie points with ALL readers, you also clarify that YOU actually did something. "attempted to apply" or "involved myself in setting up" dont have the same effect.

2. Startup: the sense of dynamism of an entrepreneurial venture automatically reflects on the essay (and on you). so explicitly state it.

3. Colleagues: There are 5 mentions of i/me/myself in 2 sentences - where are the other people?? Repeat: were you "working in a vacuum"?

4. "does your language become rigid?": The question was actually addressed to you 😃 I felt that the sentences within the quotes are a little - can i say - uptight, lacking in a personal touch, a human feel. In your informal explanation of the situation it was a story.. in your essay quote it is a rigid, formal statement. But its a matter of taste: and you are free to choose the flavor of your essay.

The way you have written it is too low key - no one's gonna rip your heart out for that - maybe me, if I were your essay consultant, but not the AdCom ;-)

Best wishes Nishant.

this is Prince signing off for **********
Hi vib

Many thanks for your feedback, actually i also made a mistake, the attribute that i am trying to portray is about my professional experiences giving me an insightful outlook. and then portraying examples of where all i have picked up and applied these learnings

In this context could you give me your opinion on

". At xyzgroup, alongside technical projects, I have involved myself in setting up the Software development processes. Experience of working in CMMI environments has helped me appreciate the relevance of setting up a structured process environment, a learning that I have since attempted to apply within my startup division."

I hope the adcom people can understand the scope of my involvement and not RIP me apart cause i am not a specialist in this area, its my own drive to do this...

Many thanks
Nishant
Commenting on this post has been disabled by the moderator.

Hi vib,

In your first reply you mention something about

"Does your language become rigid" I didnt get this point, could you elaborate.

thanks again
Nishant Khanna

Commenting on this post has been disabled by the moderator.

Hi **********,

This is my story ......for accomplishment. This is the story....

Comment if it makes sense to showcase this is an accomplishment story

Background:
When I joined XYZ , I had minimal knowledge of programming languages and computer science fundamentals. During my initial days in XYZ, working for an ever evolving clientele, teams struggled to find solutions due to unavailability of right knowledge artifacts.

Action and results:
Since 2003 I took initiative in Knowledge management to understand the various functional aspects and networked with Education and research arms of the organization to achieve the goal of creating a centralized knowledge repository ABC center of excellence in 2006, one of the "N" recognized COE at an organization level and used across the globe.

Taking the initiative and personal learning to next level I worked with research arm of XYZ to publish 2 papers on my experiences of implementing unique solutions, and use the forum to share best practices in the industry wide peer reviewed journal.

Why accomlishment - commitment to work for the betterment of the organization as well as my drive to take my learning ability to next level.

Commenting on this post has been disabled by the moderator.

Hi vib

Many thanks for your feedback, actually i also made a mistake, the attribute that i am trying to portray is about my professional experiences giving me an insightful outlook. and then portraying examples of where all i have picked up and applied these learnings

In this context could you give me your opinion on

". At xyzgroup, alongside technical projects, I have involved myself in setting up the Software development processes. Experience of working in CMMI environments has helped me appreciate the relevance of setting up a structured process environment, a learning that I have since attempted to apply within my startup division."

I hope the adcom people can understand the scope of my involvement and not RIP me apart cause i am not a specialist in this area, its my own drive to do this...

Many thanks
Nishant

Commenting on this post has been disabled by the moderator.
Hi Nish!

Answer 1) No... it doesnt. In fact your informal representation earlier was better since it clearly mentions INITIATIVE (great word, great action), Startup (always gives a sense of dynamism, new beginnings), Colleagues (w/o mention of your team/colleagues it seems like you have been working in a vacuum). Also (though I am making a case just from 1.9 sentences) does your language become rigid, "Essay English" in the final version?

Answer 2) Certainly not a good idea to badmouth anybody in your essays. But lack of exposure to a skill-set is OK as long as you are not saying "the ignorant boors don't even know the basics of QS" :bigear:. Really.

Hope you find the suggestions useful.

This is Prince signing off for **********

Hi vib,

I have a question actually a presentation issue for my ISB essay(Three qualities that make me stand out, First essay).

AS i understand the essay has to be a good mix of personal qualities coupled with sellable examples(especially professionally for some one with 5 years of excperience).

Now, my situation is such that in one of my qualities i am trying to give an example wherein i have involved myself with setting up a quality process structure(very basic) within my new company which is a startup. I have previously worked in services organisations where in i have had experience on formal structures and hence i can recognise the need to have a formal structure.

Based on this knowledge i took this initiative and started with setting up templates, basic development processes from what i can recount and also education my colleagues on how to use these templates and how to represent information in them. Most of my colleagues havnt come from cultures where they have worked in a formal process enviornment, so its been a case of showing them its value and convincing them of its aspects. I do not have formal figures or terms that are used as an analysis of this process, because at this moment i do not have too much support from the management on this issue, its basically been me and now one or two more people.

I would like to represent this in my essay, so far i have only mentioned

"alongside technical projects, I have involved myself in setting up the Software development processes within the new electronics division. My past experiences of working in CMMI environments have helped me appreciate the relevance of setting up a structured process environment within my startup division. "

Question 1) Do you think that this statement conveys the idea that i am trying to portray

Question 2) Will it be fair/ethical to mention that its because of the lack of experienc on part of my colleagues that i started working on this issue on my own because while others were busy only concentrating on tech stuff, i actually because of my past exposure could recognise the relevance of this activity.

Request your feedback on this, as i think personally this is a significant factor even though i do not have any formal certicifactions or assessments of this activity.

Many thanks
Nishant Khanna
Commenting on this post has been disabled by the moderator.
rashs_inn,

Publishing papers, leading teams, founding organizations .. whatever. That is not the critical factor.

What matters most is how you are able to use a particular premise to highlight qualities/aspects of you that you want the AdCom to go gaga over. The stories are a medium for presenting our important topic YOU.

Does the Paper Publishing story fit the bill? I dont know? You tell me. Can you show why/how the paper pub. was significant to the company/industry/nation/world? What impact did YOU make through the paper pub.? What qualities/actions on your part made this pioneering (?) effort possible? If YOU fit well into the story, the story fits your bill.

Hope you find the suggestions useful.

this is Prince signing off for **********

Ok!! got it!!!!

The story should cover everything and just conclude it with results of awards.

Now about the second accomplishment - I have taken intiatives outside ny work in the knowledge managemnt area of my Organization and have published 2 papers in Industry wide journal published by research arm of my organization.

Will this fit into that.
Commenting on this post has been disabled by the moderator.

Hi vib,

I have a question actually a presentation issue for my ISB essay(Three qualities that make me stand out, First essay).

AS i understand the essay has to be a good mix of personal qualities coupled with sellable examples(especially professionally for some one with 5 years of excperience).

Now, my situation is such that in one of my qualities i am trying to give an example wherein i have involved myself with setting up a quality process structure(very basic) within my new company which is a startup. I have previously worked in services organisations where in i have had experience on formal structures and hence i can recognise the need to have a formal structure.

Based on this knowledge i took this initiative and started with setting up templates, basic development processes from what i can recount and also education my colleagues on how to use these templates and how to represent information in them. Most of my colleagues havnt come from cultures where they have worked in a formal process enviornment, so its been a case of showing them its value and convincing them of its aspects. I do not have formal figures or terms that are used as an analysis of this process, because at this moment i do not have too much support from the management on this issue, its basically been me and now one or two more people.

I would like to represent this in my essay, so far i have only mentioned

"alongside technical projects, I have involved myself in setting up the Software development processes within the new electronics division. My past experiences of working in CMMI environments have helped me appreciate the relevance of setting up a structured process environment within my startup division. "

Question 1) Do you think that this statement conveys the idea that i am trying to portray

Question 2) Will it be fair/ethical to mention that its because of the lack of experienc on part of my colleagues that i started working on this issue on my own because while others were busy only concentrating on tech stuff, i actually because of my past exposure could recognise the relevance of this activity.

Request your feedback on this, as i think personally this is a significant factor even though i do not have any formal certicifactions or assessments of this activity.

Many thanks
Nishant Khanna

Commenting on this post has been disabled by the moderator.