Posthumous-2

Please Stop! Wait, don’t go! please come back, I am sorry, can’t you see?

My parents were lying on the hospital beds. And everything seemed to be covered with white to me, the beds, the walls, the sheets and even the lights. I would never see them again; how would I cope with this inexplicable pain, this ineffable vacuum. It is all my fault, I wish I was not driving at such fast speed, no, I wish I had not taken them along to the ice cream parlor. It is all my fault, I could have worked late and completed the pending work; I could have just ordered the ice cream home; why didn’t I? Why? Why?

I never saw that truck coming from the side ways, and all I heard was the horn and scream of my mom from the back seat.

I love you mom. Talk to me, I am crying, wipe my tears and kiss me. You were the one who taught me to walk, to eat, to love. I remember how I would spill the complete glass of milk in the sink and lie to you about drinking it. I am sorry mom. Please come back, I will never lie to you again. I apologize for drinking dad’s whiskey inspite of you telling me not to. I promise you that I will not do it again, but please come back. Oh you, don’t go, I will call you every day. I will take care of the cranky exhaust fan in the kitchen, just come back and speak to me. Please mom, I will do exactly as you say, I will marry whichever girl you will choose, but please remove those white sheets, rise up and hug me.

Papa, atleast you speak something. You have always mediated between mom n me, why not this time. You also refuse to react to my pleas. Look at my tears, papa, just look at me and smile like old times. I will get my bike serviced and look in to that Aggarwal uncle’s matter but speak. Slap me for my mistake, raise your hand and thump my back for driving so fast and getting us into trouble. But please speak. I will do SIP, LIC whatever you told me to, just rise up and embrace me and kiss me to let me feel your beard. Papa, you are my idol, I want to be like you, responsible, sincere, active and caring. I try hard, every damn time but just can not do, look today what happened, forgive me this time. Why are you so numb? Respond to me or I will choke on my tears. Please come back.

Mumma…Papa…I am really sorry, I know it will not matter how much I beg. God, Please help me, return my mumma and papa to me. Papa, I have a confession, whenever you thrashed me on sundays for my petty misdemeanors, I never felt bad, I know you always thought that I will hold that as a grudge against you but no papa, I can never do that. I love you papa, so much that I can’t express, just take care of mumma.

I have always put you above any God, mumma, for me you were the only woman whom I would have ever listened to. You have tried to make me a perfect human being and today I have shattered that for you. I am sorry for the reckless driving. I so much want to kiss you and hug you before you go away from me. Mumma, you too take care of papa. He loved you more than his job.

God, Can’t you make evrything back to normal? one last time, please. Just take care of each other like you have been doing for so long. I will go now, He is calling and I will speak to Him that either I remain as your son or you be my children in the next rebirth. Go for the regular checkups and papa please refer doctors before applying your homeopathic/ayurvedic remedies.

I won’t survive without you mumma and papa, not on earth, not in heaven and not in hell. I love you, I will go now.

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