hello ppl,
I'm pasting an e-mail fwd which is written by an indian guy studying at stony brooks. Read it in leisure 'cos it's a long mail but a humorous one! He definitely writes well . This guy deserves a pullitzer
too good stuff.
Good Luck,
Nachal.
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I hear curses...pinch myself...nope...not a dream.
It's my roomie lying next to me and screaming. He's mad at my alarm going
off at 6.30AM. Well, I can't help it if he sits up all night chatting
with his friends, enemies and any other human being having a Yahoo ID!
Ok...ok...I'll switch it off...slowly open my eyes, and I see my
other roomie standing beside my bed.... bath towel around his waist,
toothbrush in his mouth and giving me the look. "Wasn't it your turn to go to
Walmart??...We are out of toilet paper!" Great! Looks like a fun filled
day ahead.
After some quick formalities in the restroom, I manage
to find a tee shirt amo! ng some pile of papers, popcorn and coffee
cups. Thank God (well, actually, thank my roomie) for the deodorant!
Time for a quick breakfast...as I enter the kitchen, my roomie walks
out munching on a sandwich. "Forget it...that was the last one", he says
half asleep.
"What about cereals?" I ask. "Finished last week...there's some milk
left...". Milk??...Only if I can find a cup in this jungle. Oh...forget it! One
less breakfast won't reduce my life expectancy. I
finally make my way out of the apartment not stepping on anyone or
anything. As I walk out, I realize it's raining heavily. All I have on is
a tee shirt and jeans. I stand there thinking of my options. I can
either go back to bed or...hey! There's that guy living next door (don't
know his name...they call him 'the guy with the car'). I see
five guys wearing 5 layers of clothing, gloves, raincoats and under one
umbrella...all walking towards his car. As he ! starts his car and fills up
the parking lot with black smoke, I look at him and give him the best smile
I could. "You need a ride?" he shouts out like a Hindi movie hero.
Well, what do you think?, I say in my mind as I run towards his car.
At least, I got to sit on someone's lap...much better than those worn
out seats.
Huffing and puffing, the car finally reaches school. I see all these
people staring as six guys come pouring out of the car. Hey!
Do you think we were having a gay orgy in here??? I thank the 'guy
with the car', when suddenly I hear this most gayish tune...something
like a nursery rhyme I remember from two decades ago! It was his cell
phone ringing. Downloaded it yesterday, he tells me proudly and
attends the phone. I hear words like..."talk faster"..."day time
minutes"..."gas prices"..."classes"..."Priya needs a ride?"..."Sure no
problem"..."on my way". As I walk towards the fridge (to be understo! od as our
school building which likes to show off its air conditioning powers), I can see my
friend, the 'guy with the car' pull out of the parking lot and driving
off...DDLJ music blaring out of his 5 W speakers...with other noises
from the car making it sound like a badly made remix....Some girl
somewhere needs a ride I guess.
My brain starts to work as soon as I enter the Fridge.
I was supposed to meet my proff today...oh well...I am only 10 minutes
late and she must be getting used to it by now. After the meeting, I run
to the computer lab and find myself a PC. Man, anyone who walks past the lab
might think that the Chinese and Indians are so dedicated and hardworking
and determined and studious...but only the privileged few know that
while the Chinese are use the lab times to be dedicated and hardworking
and everything else, the Indians are busy strengthening family bonds
around the glob! e. (I would like to take a second here to thank that
cool software that can integrate yahoo, rediff and msn messengers all
into one!). After exactly an hour, I just have one more (out of the
six) e-mail account to check. As I walk out of the lab, I see this
human traffic heading for the exit. My proffs, the department secretary,
janitor...I see all of them heading out. I look down at
my watch and realize its 12...time for lunch. 'Lunch'- a word I
knew before reaching this country. As long as the Civil Department offers
courtesy coffee, I don't need lunch. I see my roomie by the vending
machine, standing there like a lion waiting for his next victim.
Finally, it happens. Two unsuspecting desi guys walk towards the machine.
One of them - a nerd doing his Ph.D. is bragging about his research on
developing an adaptive control chart to eliminate the difficulties
of using a standardized control chart to cont! rol processes to
his friend who is also doing a Ph.D. ,...well, ...to keep his visa status
alive.
As soon as they get their chips and cookies out of the vending
machine, the lion...oops!...my roomie goes to them and I see his
hands disappear into the packs of food. Well, at least he knows to keep himself
healthy (or should I say...filled??). After taking a one hour 20 minute nap
in class, I pick up my assignments and head straight for the lab. You
see, the probability that someone somewhere would have sent me
a mail in the last two hours is quite high. And then it strikes me again. I
was supposed to meet a proff for chances on funding. Maybe another
day. After deleting the twenty forwarded mails that reached my
inbox in the last two hours, I walk back home, catching a glimpse of those
flashy cars zooming past me. Someday...I think...
As I open the door to my apartment, I see my roomie
sitting w! ith a bottle of Corona and watching an Amitabh movie for the
twentieth time??!! I tell him something's burning in the kitchen. "Don't worry...its
aalu sabji...its for dinner", he comforts me. Aalu...again?? I ask myself
as I find a spot to place my shoes. "Where's my laptop?", I hear a
shout from the bedroom. "Check in the laundry basket", I hear a reply
from the restroom. "Get off the phone...I wanna use the Internet!"..."Hey,
its boiling in here...which chu**** switched on the heater??". My
roomies...they are all here. "Lets all clean up the place", I say...hmmm...maybe
they didn't hear me. I say it once more..."Lets all clean up the place", a bit louder
this time. "Assignment due tomorrow!"..."headache"..."midterm day after"..."Aunt's
cousin's friend online!"... come the replies! Oh well...might as well do it myself...
After I make some quick phone calls to my friends
spread over from Alaska to Florida and also usi! ng up the last two
minutes of my phone card to India, I decide its time for bed. I slip under
my comforter cum sleeping bag cum bed spread and slowly doze
off...thinking of sports cars, rock music, hot girls...and all the good things
I used to think about while standing in line for the visa, under the
scorching Mumbai sun, outside the American consulate.... Life goes
on...
having a good time at TIME :p..?