Last date is 15 Oct.... I am already late:|
Here goes my SOP, request seniors and all to give their feedback and help me make it better:D
"
Pursuing a worthy goal brings true happiness; and once achieved, a goal leads to another one. As a child, fascinated by the technology shows on Discovery Channel, I always dreamt of being an engineer and I did become one. My engineering course and later Infosys, exposed me to the world of possibilities and achievements. And I dreamt another dream of starting my own financial firm one day.
I realize to make this dream come true I need to back it up with the required skills and hard work. And this is where FMS can help me to achieve both. FMS being a reputed Business School in India attracts the best faculty and students from diverse backgrounds. Also, as it emphasizes on learning by doing, it will help me to understand the nuances of business, dealing with people and uncertainties of finance. With such a high intellect, talent group and eminent alumni network; FMS can help simulate creativity, secure great internship and will be the best platform to enter into the finance world. "
I wrote it without reading any SOP first, so that it is not influenced by any.
My take on above:
1. Ending is little abrupt.
2. I have only mentioned how FMS can help me, and nothing like if selected I will be make a good student sort of stuff (Not sure such thing is required or not)
3. After reading, I think its bit rheoteric as if filmy sorts of.
Waiting eagerly for suggestions:D