Saying that cheap media images are resulting in this kind of behavior is unacceptable.
There are lot of other guys watching same, do they behave in lecherous manner? This is just justifying his actions. Wrong is wrong. Just because he came out of a cinema hall watching scantliy clad females doesn't give him right to touch any other.
So lets atleast stop blaming media and look inside us.. If your actions are being influenced by media, how about watching Cartoon network or discovery?

Dear Sonika,
probably u dont understand the mindset of the people..... Let me tell u that this sort of behaviour has been on a hike since these cheap B-grade movies are available.... I never supported their behaviour, but since we are talking of the causes, let me tell u , u are asking me to ignore on of the chief causes...

How can we ignore the cheap films that are being shown on our television... When a guy from a gud family goes and sees such movies, dont u expect his morale to be well shaken.... Offcourse, he is supposed to understand that eve-teasing is a hideous habit, but arent such movies actually increasing his perversion.. U can't expect everyone to be adult about it... and definitely not after the leacherous way, these movies are shown.... Then who can complain, that even a person from a good family, behaving badly....

Offcourse, i am not supporting such people, but there are people with such weak mind-set.... Definitely, we can't ignore the media.... and its not about watching cartoon n/w but its the offensive quality that is shown.... such that u are hardly left with anything suitable to watch with ur family on a saturday night!!

Hi junta

My 2 cents.

More than the cheap media & stuff, one thing that has really contributed to the sexual harrasment thing is the attitude towards women in general.

I believe even the average metro living individual still subscribes to the century old traditions and practises. Women are getting their rights but the indian soiciety has a long way to go before it can respect women in the same way. The reason a man can make lewd gestures and get away with it is coz he believes he is superior. There is still a lot of stigma attached to the girl child. It comes in packaged form nowadays like ' Take care of ur sister' or 'Ur Dad will pick u up' or Worse when an aunt remarks... 'Good now u hv a daughter.. Next we will hv a boy she can tie rakhi to':(

I hv seen numerous girls who hv done an engineering degree but do not take up jobs coz their parents dont allow it. Why?? Coz I believe the parents dont trust the outside world or they r not willing to overburden themselves with the added security thing.

The whole mentality has to change. I believe the sexual harrasment thing is an offshoot of this problem. The day the male realises he cannot make obscene gestures and just walk off, that he will be dragged down on the very spot , the problem will cease to exist.

It requires time. Centuries of blind faith cannot be wiped off in a few years...

Cheers
Varsha

Just my views. Comments r welcome. Pretty long post but just wanted to put my thoughts to words.

Another thing which can be attributed for such a decline is the influence of cheap media.... like movies... where female body is shown as a cheap means of entertainment... Now how can a guy remain mentally stable if such an offensive portrayal of female anatomy is put before him... Can u always blame him for becoming a lecher... I figure not.....

Saying that cheap media images are resulting in this kind of behavior is unacceptable.
There are lot of other guys watching same, do they behave in lecherous manner? This is just justifying his actions. Wrong is wrong. Just because he came out of a cinema hall watching scantliy clad females doesn't give him right to touch any other.
So lets atleast stop blaming media and look inside us.. If your actions are being influenced by media, how about watching Cartoon network or discovery?

@Sonika slapping or yelling is fine... but u must differentiate between situations, because sometimes things happen unintentionally and arent what they appear to be... :)

I know.. Tht was the reason my parents banned my travelling by public buses.. not tht i minded it

but ya.. there are certain situations u can hv advantage n certain whr u can't.
My take is if you've people around then definitely try yell n slap.. rest public takes care of..
but ya if you are in very deserted area.. call up your friends and family.. or carry pepper spray cans...

Well gauri,
the scenerio is comparable with the political scenerio of our country....

Is it shitty? Yes
Are u do something to counter it ? Yes
Will it take time and patience? Yes

I can imagine the repressed anger in u people.... but there are so many thing which u need to consider before losing ur cool.....

Remember, no man is born bad.... It is the society, his living conditions, which make it adverse.... Yes, u are right that these scumbags can be found everywhere and they indeed are a hindrance to ur freedom, but to change the society, u need time and a bigger thing.... patience..

We arew talking of changing the mentality.... So first remove the elements which dirty this mentality.... like cheap movies (as i already said)

Can u do that? Take protest march against every producer who releases movies which can be truely called a soft porn.... u can't..... because there is a plethora of obstacles that way....

Another thing is, create awareness amongst people.... That we can do by talking, having discussions like these, so that they will come forward....

When u girls will have the awareness as to how to protect urself, then u wont desperate for anybody's help.... u wont feel dependent... on us...

Yes, i agree that u have the right to question.... Why is it like that? Why can't we have this basic freedom in free India? Why should we be have to live with fear constantly....

but once u have that awareness, u have solidified, u wont need to feel that fear... Life is full of dangerous obstacles, whether u r a girl or a guy, u cant afford to be callous even for a second..!!

prevention is something we do anyway....we try our best anyway. but nobody can begin to understand how much it constrains us. can't even take a walk alone if we feel like it at night without having some bastard gesticulate to invite us to the backseat of his car. it's when these basic freedoms start getting impinged on that you just feel so angry and tethered. which is very unfair and a terrible commentary on us as a society, which doesn't even afford one half of its population, basic dignity.
apart from countering with overt aggression of our own, isn't there a deeper malaise which needs addressing??

Yes, quite correct..... depravity comes from all the reasons.... whether it be come sort of sexual discrimination or ditching or anything, which renders a man's mentality that all the ladies are b**ches.. He can become a sexual pervert and would not let those feeling vent away easily but will try to take revenge on the entire group...

Say eg, if a guy has been ditched by a girl for another guy, or he has been humiliated falsely or there was some sexual discrimination (as Milton said).. all these factors tend to shake their mentality into wrong-doing...

Another thing which can be attributed for such a decline is the influence of cheap media.... like movies... where female body is shown as a cheap means of entertainment... Now how can a guy remain mentally stable if such an offensive portrayal of female anatomy is put before him... Can u always blame him for becoming a lecher... I figure not.....

But then, causes are one thing and it is important that ladies should take preventive measures to ensure their safety

Depravity, like sexual discrimination is omnipresent.

I think part of the reason people sexually harass other people (and it could be wither way around, but for simplicity, let's assume it 's a man harassing a woman) is because they have objectified the harassed. In this case men think of women as objects. Tradeable, expendable, fully own - able.

have had so many such incidents myself. the funny thing is even if you slap the guy/punch his nose hard like i've taken to doing, the sense of violation is so deep. but my constant wonder is, where is this depravity coming from?

Sexual harassment stems from sexual discrimination, which is omnipresent.

How do we stem sexual discrimination?

Hi milton...
It is true there are some pathetic souls who do this sort of behaviour.... but then they forget in the zest of taking revenge.... that their mothers and sisters are also ladies, who go out and can be a victim of such a sort of behaviour... They are mentally unstable people who have lost their conscience and are unable to understand this....

As for sexual discrimination.... i think it is more of a mind thing.... rather than anything..... tomorrow, if some b-school chucks me out bcoz it reserves a quota for girls, that doesnt mean i have to take out my frustration by groping some random girl i meet on the street.... One has to be logical and reasonable enough.... to be called as a man.... otherwise he is just like an animal.... and there is no treatment for a mad dog...!!

@Sonika slapping or yelling is fine... but u must differentiate between situations, because sometimes things happen unintentionally and arent what they appear to be...

i remember whn i used to travel in delhi by public buses.. ppl touchin inappropriately is very common.. My funda was always to slap the guy.. or yell at him so loudly tht other ppl pushes him away.. i alwayz believed if one girl raises her voice then next time he won't try with others.. n ppl do help..
But i've seen with lotsa girls that they dun complain.. they try to avoid.. avoidin is not the solution... it just encourages ppl lk this to try it wd others...

When I saw this thread, I rem our Sat's discussion.

In Mumbai, supp one of the safer cities in India, travelling by train is supposedly very efficcient, but also very screwball. If you're a chick who has both your hands occupied, rest assured, some one will find an innovative way of bumping into you. The harassment isn't overt, but its harassment!

I think having sensitization classes in school is a good way to initiate people, caus it's a deep issue. have subjects like these instead of redundant shit like a 3rd and 4th language

i remember whn i used to travel in delhi by public buses.. ppl touchin inappropriately is very common.. My funda was always to slap the guy.. or yell at him so loudly tht other ppl pushes him away.. i alwayz believed if one girl raises her voice then next time he won't try with others.. n ppl do help..
But i've seen with lotsa girls that they dun complain.. they try to avoid.. avoidin is not the solution... it just encourages ppl lk this to try it wd others...

Sexual harassment stems from sexual discrimination, which is omnipresent.

How do we stem sexual discrimination?

Well lone.verse....
That was really some incident.... and i must admit that u have been very lucky... (thank God! ) Anyway, there are few things we can learn from it... and as i think, it should be.....

1) Avoid travelling late at night.... if possible take an afternoon conveyance, so that u can reach ur home by evening... If ur home is far away, then try going in groups... U might find other girls or boys who would be travellling near ur destination....
2) Govt. buses are fine... but i like pvt. buses bcoz u dont find any rowdies in there...
3) I guess that in ur case, there werent many people in the bus and hence try to take an alternative conveyance, wherein u know that max people travel to the place where u r going.... This may not be feasible in all cases, but if u are a regular visitor to some place, then u can think of it...

One thing that is a must is, that u always have to be on guard if u are travelling alone..

sometimes, its difficult, if not impossible, to move around in groups.
And what about loners like me?:satisfie:
Once a group of drunk men started harassing me, again on a bus. This time, I was alone, at two in the morning, coming home from my hostel. I also made the mistake of sitting in the back of the bus, that too a govt. bus. It was crowded when I'd gotten in, but slowly the crowd got off, and the lights were switched off, so everyone fell asleep. So did I, comfortably alone on my long seat that was made for three people..

A strange scratching on one side of my torso awoke me. I woke up, terrified, only to find one of the men sitting beside me and trying to get his hand through my dupatta. His other friends had gathered around, watching. I froze, not knowing what to do next. Then, a man got up from the seat behind me, and told that other guy to move away from me. He did, but I was still scared. and it was obvious from the look on my face.

So this kind man, who was an army officer, dropped me home at 4 in the morning, in an auto. I will never forget his kindness, when I needed it most. My only regret is that I never even said "thank you" properly, or ask for his name. I've never seen him again.

As mentioned before, empowerment starts in the mind.
The one reason(the only reason) why I support blanknoiseproject is because it'll help people to come out with their experiences. Seeing someone else talk about it tends to make one get over one's fears as well.
Sometimes, its not just fear of parents or relatives that makes girls hesitate to tell them their problems. Sometimes, it is also fear of appearing to be weak, of appeared to have taken it when one should have protested.

that's why we have this thread.... and encouraging voices like u and me so that these people can feel comforted... they get in touch with others who have seen similiar situations.... and hence, their not.so.open mind, opens up and they too reveal what they have faced..... U know courage begets courage and when people are in like situations, then they starting feeling more comfortable.... They might not be able to speak to their parents or relatives, but they can speak here.... figuring, that their true reality would not be disclosed here...:)

lone.verse| Says

One thing I'd recommend to all women would be to learn some kind of defensive martial arts - that's just coz it actually gives you a lot of confidence.

As u said it and its very right that u have put it on the top most....

This is the most effective solution.... I think, it gives the girls a chance for an effective resistance and helps them to be more self-confident...

Its not only martial arts, but even if u play sports and maintain a strong healthy body, u will feel confident... So girls playing football, badminton, running etc should feel fit to help themselves counter anything...

|lone.verse Says

Another very important thing - don't hesitate to ask others for help, especially if you are dealing with a situation all alone, OR if there are more than one people harassing you at the same time.

True!!!! Please dont.... and one thing i would like to say here......

Guys!! dont turn away from a situation like this, when it calls u.... dont turn ur back.... thinking it is none of my business.... God forbid! it may become ur business one day... So always keep on alert... It is our contribution too that our ladies will finally feel free from all fears and will be able to move around without any hesitation.... Life doesn't give u too many chances to prove ur valour and gentleman-ness, so dont become a coward and prove what a MAN of SUBSTANCE u are...

Goodness begets goodness..

Three - don't be a pushover. If you are sure that someone is touching you on purpose, without your permission, be firm, and rude, in telling him to back off. If he doesn't, THEN make a scene

Girls, u should never feel scared in raising ur voices..... Tolerating crime like cowards is also a crime... So come forward and show those rascals... that women if can be like menaka or apsara (symbol of beauty), they also come in the form of Kali and Durga..

One very important thing that my dad always taught me - don't use weapons like blades, pen-knives etc. unless
1) you're prepared to face the consequences for using them
2) you USE them effectively, and not just brandish them THREATENING to use them....don't make idle threats. If you're about to do something, do it. Don't hesitate, or you might find yourself at the blade end instead of the hilt.
3) Unless the situation is so utterly horribly hopeless (like being kidnapped on a moving vehicle while travelling alone), DON'T USE ANY WEAPONS.

Well.... as for weapons, u need to be fully skilled to use them.... As the good lady has said, if u are not, u can be not the receiving end too... and that too badly.... Know when to fight and when to run away....

I suggest that u always move around in groups.... so that u can face the danger together and combat it effectively... U feel more secure and better in strength when u are together, rather alone...

@lone.verse Thanks for bringing that mistake to my notice

As mentioned before, empowerment starts in the mind.
The one reason(the only reason) why I support blanknoiseproject is because it'll help people to come out with their experiences. Seeing someone else talk about it tends to make one get over one's fears as well.
Sometimes, its not just fear of parents or relatives that makes girls hesitate to tell them their problems. Sometimes, it is also fear of appearing to be weak, of appeared to have taken it when one should have protested.

Gaurav, there's one thing you're forgetting here, something very big and very disturbing.
WOMEN ARE SCARED.
They're scared of being harassed, they're scared to tell anyone that they were harassed, they're even scared of telling the motherf***** to stop harassing them!!
A man messed with a friend of mine, when she was young and travelling on the bus with her family. It was an all-night journey, and everyone get's different seats to sleep on. This man started touching her, and she slapped his hand away. Then he pinched her so hard, she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. She didn't tell her parents, coz she didn't want them to make a scene.
Four-five years later, I was the first person she confessed all this to. Even then, she couldn't keep herself from crying at her helplessness, because she still hadn't learnt how to deal with these kind of cockoraches. She opened up to me just coz I was telling her about my experiences (yeah, lots more).
Moral of the story - Open up, and don't be scared. The worst they can do is kill you, and even that's better than having to live silently with the abuse.

My dear,
i totally agree with u.... I can feel the bitterness in u... and i accept what u say/feel.... But then, tell me, isn't that this sheepish attitude (i think sheepish would be a better word than coward) that strengthens those monsters.... The girl becomes so much pressurized about her family's reputation, her prestige... that even if she wants to say it, blurt it out, her lips are sealed or rather they are forced to seal...

Unlces and aunties around will keep on saying truck loads of crap.... but it is upto us (the victims... ) to think over it.... Why was that girl able to tell u and not her family.... precisely that's why.... She had lost trust on her family, thinking what will they say.... ho sakta hai, they might tell her it is her fault... But she found u and confided in u...

This is what we have to do..... gain the trust... free them from inhibitions...
I know it is easier said, than done..... but all major things have to start from a point, isnt it..? The only point that lies here is, whom to trust?

But as far as the boldness is concerned, u girls would have to become bold... there is no medicine for it.... u have to show that u are lesser than none and if such 'cockroach' comes, u have the will power to crush IT

i dont say, u start doing body building for it, but there are ways, i can think of..... but would like the girls to start with it... and then we can contribute with the ideas...

One thing I'd recommend to all women would be to learn some kind of defensive martial arts - that's just coz it actually gives you a lot of confidence.
Another very important thing - don't hesitate to ask others for help, especially if you are dealing with a situation all alone, OR if there are more than one people harassing you at the same time.
Three - don't be a pushover. If you are sure that someone is touching you on purpose, without your permission, be firm, and rude, in telling him to back off. If he doesn't, THEN make a scene

One very important thing that my dad always taught me - don't use weapons like blades, pen-knives etc. unless
1) you're prepared to face the consequences for using them
2) you USE them effectively, and not just brandish them THREATENING to use them....don't make idle threats. If you're about to do something, do it. Don't hesitate, or you might find yourself at the blade end instead of the hilt.
3) Unless the situation is so utterly horribly hopeless (like being kidnapped on a moving vehicle while travelling alone), DON'T USE ANY WEAPONS.

Gaurav, there's one thing you're forgetting here, something very big and very disturbing.
WOMEN ARE SCARED.
They're scared of being harassed, they're scared to tell anyone that they were harassed, they're even scared of telling the motherf***** to stop harassing them!!
A man messed with a friend of mine, when she was young and travelling on the bus with her family. It was an all-night journey, and everyone get's different seats to sleep on. This man started touching her, and she slapped his hand away. Then he pinched her so hard, she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out. She didn't tell her parents, coz she didn't want them to make a scene.
Four-five years later, I was the first person she confessed all this to. Even then, she couldn't keep herself from crying at her helplessness, because she still hadn't learnt how to deal with these kind of cockoraches. She opened up to me just coz I was telling her about my experiences (yeah, lots more).
Moral of the story - Open up, and don't be scared. The worst they can do is kill you, and even that's better than having to live silently with the abuse.

One famous example i can think of is Gangajal... If we group together, then there wont be any case of any deterrent fellow who tries to do any do anything ugly to our sisters, mothers, aunties and friends.... If u guys correctly remember that, in Gangajal, the whole mob broke on the goons who were trying to harass those girl students.... and then they had to run for their lives...!!
If we guys can show the power of the hot, young boiling blood running in our veins, then we can bring a revolution and anybody would think a million times before even thinking of committing such hideous act....

We need is to unite against such villains and give tham a nice taste of blows and brickbats.. i agree that violence is not a solution for everything, but we need something drastic to combat this devil...

If u see Delhi, the rape capital of India, life is very insecure for girls here, with scoundrels loitering hither and thither and everywhere.... Yes, educating our ladies is definitely a premanent solution, but at the same time, it is our duty also, to ensure that they are safe and we intrude in anything alike that we see..... and not just not care, as though it is none of our business.... If today it is happening with a girl, we dont' know, then , God forbid! , tomorrow, it can happen with a girl we know, and then what will we do?? Wait for the police to take action.... wait for the court to give judgement.... Acting sensibly is one thing, but making it our duty to fight crime is another....

I think all puys would agree with me.... Comments are most welcome

Confidence and Positive among Women will surely help in work environment and also in society.
Especially in Bangalore,where the most worst things are happening for women..
about 10years b4 acid was thrown over the girls face and all such kind of things..
i feel so much embarassed/frustrated with such grulesome acts...
Good work needs good luck
Good Luck

Well lone.verse,
it was great and i think u acted very sensibly....!! I think this is what this thread needs.... If all the PG ladies can come around and put down their experiences, then it shall act as a great experience for the others and they can come to know what possibly can they do if ever they encounter such a situation in their lives!! (God forbid!)

We can also discuss some ways which the ladies should follow to protect themselves if ever they come across a hostile situation! So ladies, please add ur incidents here! and let them be a good lesson for the others

Here's one of my more interesting harassment experiences.
One time a guy tried to act funny with me when I was travelling by bus to Pondicherry. He came and stood beside me(I was sitting next to the aisle), though the whole bus was empty, and kept bumping into me and messing with my dupatta on purpose. I got really irritated, so instead of creating a scene, I used this writing pad I had (one with pretty sharp corners) and held it for sometime in a way that would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable for him whenever he tried to fall on me. Other times, I took the opportunity to shove the corner of the slate into him every chance I got. The bastard didn't last five minutes.

guys / girls.

something which i can throw in to the culdron; and though it does not tackle the morality or the immorality of it ; it does present a very strong voice for rebuttal and throws some common sense in the play.

the indian labour laws require each organisation which hires women (above a certain number ) establish a women's only forum where the representation is from the managemnt and the HR leadership and from the workforce. most of the BPO / ITES companies have these forums and they serve to create parity in the mitigation of sexual harassment of women in the indutry.

as a manager and a dedicated lover of women (pun intentional intentions good) it becomes your responsibility to initiate one in your organisation once you get out in the market-- or do so at a college level.

lastly, make a note for the blokes in the blacknoise to do something about the harassment they face or at least post on their blogs what they think, as victims they could have done different to avoid or quell the harassment.

Now i know why PagalGirl was created

And about your last point....i think it is also been done by many of the bloggers.Some of them have posted how they managed to fight the culprit.....some even more experienced(unfortunately) have posted on Do's and Don'ts in the various situations.

But good that you mentioned it here, It will be usefull people writing after seeing this thread.

Yes, i do agree with harshg.... i think, initiation of such forums enables women to collectively talk and share their experiences.... It is also a learning for men, because at times, there are many guys who are not aware of the beastly situation... and i think the ladies in PG should come up with their experiences and then we can discuss it here... They should talk with open and free mind without any hesitation .... We can all learn a lot of things from them and we can express ideas mutually on how to curb this menace....

guys / girls.

something which i can throw in to the culdron; and though it does not tackle the morality or the immorality of it ; it does present a very strong voice for rebuttal and throws some common sense in the play.

the indian labour laws require each organisation which hires women (above a certain number ) establish a women's only forum where the representation is from the managemnt and the HR leadership and from the workforce. most of the BPO / ITES companies have these forums and they serve to create parity in the mitigation of sexual harassment of women in the indutry.

as a manager and a dedicated lover of women (pun intentional intentions good) it becomes your responsibility to initiate one in your organisation once you get out in the market-- or do so at a college level.

lastly, make a note for the blokes in the blacknoise to do something about the harassment they face or at least post on their blogs what they think, as victims they could have done different to avoid or quell the harassment.

Hi dude!
i must say that ur initiative is quite commendable.... but i fail to understand how will writing blogs help to fight the menace... As far the awareness is concerned i think there is hardly anyone who would not know about eve-teasing or sexual harassment.... and hence, the stress should be laid on how can we practically fight it...

One thing that we can discuss is how the ladies should organize themselves... and tackle this menace... Secondly, this should be a must discuss topics in our PG meets.... If we have to do something for the community, rather than spreading knowledge among the intellectuals, we must start with the ways we can practically counter it... So buddy, i think the discussion should be centred here as What can we do to counter this menace...? and the subsequent posts should be related to that...

I get what you are trying to say.But what one needs to understand is that by this initiative the we(the bloggers) are trying to make people more aware of what girls has to go through in their day today life.

There many blogs,in which females have shared their first hand experience of eve teasing and what they feel should be done to reduce that. There are many other blogs which have concentrated on trying to find out and suggesting ways to tackle this issue.

Besides these, some blogs have also tried to bring some of very lesser known issues which MUST be brought in light to find a solution for that.

And i must say, the response so far is amazing.I my self has written about a lesser known issue of marital rape,and have already go more that 30 e-mails by different peoples including married and unmarried girls , inquiring about the legal and general aspects of the issue.

I do believe, Talking about an issue is the first step towards solving it.

This is a very good project.Especially after the events that are happening in out Capital City over the videsi girls and hyderabad "export"

We Support YOU...